Without You
by Sadistic-X-Masochistic
Summary: Gaara always found it hard to trust anybody, until Lee came along. They fell deeply in love until an unfair accident left them both separated for life. How can the survivor raise their unborn child without the other? LeeGaa mpreg lemons
1. Chapter 1

**This is an mpreg fic. Yes that does stand for male pregnancy and yes, I love it very much 3 Contains lemons.**

**Don't like, don't read. Simple enough, huh?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and if I did, Gaara would be Rock Lee's smexy uke! 8D**

**Chapter 1**

**Lee POV**

"L-Lee!" Panted Gaara as I pounded hard into him. "A-Ah! I'm gonna cum!" He gasped.

I started squeezing his hardened member gently and pounded in harder. With an erotic scream, Gaara came hard all over my hand and on the bed. The feeling of his body tightening with such intense force around my member pushed me right over the edge. Moaning loudly in great pleasure, I then released my seed deep inside my uke and pulled out, lapping up his cum. The taste was sweet, but salty at the same time and it had an exotic tang to it. "Mm, you taste good Gaara-chan!"

"You too." My cute little boyfriend was already licking the tip of my member. It felt so good to feel his warm, wet tongue sliding so tantalizingly over my shaft. After tasting each other, we both fell back onto the bed, arms wrapped around each other. I trailed my hand down Gaara's side, taking in every detail of his slender, sexy body. His skin was pale, pale like porcelain, like a fragile doll to be touched with only the gentlest hands. He had a delicate blush on his face and his aquamarine eyes were large and innocent. I couldn't hold back any longer and moved closer, forcing our lips to meet. He moaned sexily; making me nibble gently along his bottom lip, then, I forced my tongue through his slightly parted lips. Feeling our tongues meet, we kissed harder, more intense. This was the type of kiss that would leave us gasping for breath afterwards. We pulled away after at least five minutes of making out; but it didn't stop there: I trailed my tongue along his jawline and then moved to his neck, biting down on his jugular, then sucking the love-bitten area, making my mark on him. He moaned. "Lee..."

He sounded so sexy, so desperate and helpless. I couldn't resist.

My lips started planting delicate kisses down his chest and stomach. I moved further down, to just below his navel, his weak point. He gasped in pleasure as I kissed that area over and over again. Hearing his noises, every gasp or moan that escaped his throat, it hardened my member once again. I'd never had sex twice in one day before, but it felt so right with Gaara. I then felt something touch my chest. Immediately, I knew what it was and reached down, squeezing it gently. Gaara gasped and bucked forward to my touch. I had him now.

I started to kiss further and further down until my lips met something hard. Gaara's reaction was beautiful. My lips ran up the length of his member before I started sucking on the tip.

"A-ah!"

"You like?" I inquired, moving my tongue teasingly around the shaft. My mouth had now engulfed the tip and I was sucking like mad. He dug his nails hard into my back, moaning and gasping. "L-Lee! Harder! Ohh!"

I swirled my tongue around his member before taking it out of my mouth, then ground my hips down against Gaara's erection. We both moaned in pleasure. Then, I started pumping his dick, and he did the same to mine. Seconds passed of us both crying out in pure ecstasy. I hadn't been pleasured so good in a long time. This felt so great.

"I'm g-gonna cum soon!" Yelped Gaara all of a sudden

I also was reaching my limits, but I wanted us to cum together. "H-Hold it! I'm almost there now!"

"I-I can't! Ah!"

With one last effort, I pumped hard and we both came in each others hands, screaming. I licked my fingers, enjoying Gaara's taste so much. Gaara did the same and collapsed on the bed, panting. I lay next to him and smirked, stroking his cheek. He smiled at my touch and held my hand tenderly to the side of his face. His skin was so soft and smooth After a while, his eyes closed, his breathing was even and his features were calm. Leaning forward, I planted a tender kiss to the crimson 'Ai' scar on his forehead, before I too, fell asleep.

Sunlight shafted in through the chinks in my blinds and awakened me from my deep slumber. I felt good this morning. Better than I had done in a long time. I inhaled deeply and then felt someone tugging at the blankets.

"Lee..." Came a quiet voice.

I turned and looked at Gaara who was wide awake. "What is wrong?"

"It's nearly midday." His voice was still that quiet, soft tone.

I shot up, making him jump.

"Why did you not you wake me?" I demanded, not meaning to sound so harsh.

"Y-You were asleep."

I shook my head. "I am sorry Gaara-kun. I did not mean to shout."

"It's okay." He sat up slowly.

"I should start setting my alarm clock again..." I muttered quietly, making the bed. Gaara got out of it and pulled on his black boxers which were lying on the floor. He turned to me. "Lee, can I take a shower?"

"Sure. Bathroom is the door on the left."

"Thanks." I saw him go in and heard the shower turn on moments later. As I made the bed, I saw the cum stains all over the sheets. _They'll have to go in the wash._ I thought with a sigh, bundling them up. Just as I shoved them into the wash basket, there was a knock at the door.

"Lee, it's TenTen!" Came my friend's cheery voice.

"Hold on a second!" I babbled, unlocking the door and then opening it. TenTen smiled at me. "Hi! I came to-" She paused. "Who's in the shower?"

"A friend."  
"Is it Neji? I haven't seen him since last night."

"Y-Yes." I lied. My phone suddenly rang. I looked at caller ID and saw it was of course, Neji.

"Who's that?" TenTen asked suspiciously.

"G-Gaara! It's Gaara!"

"What?" Shouted a voice from the bathroom.

I turned back to TenTen, blushing in embarrassment. "I have to go. Speak to you soon." With that, I closed the door. Thank God. I heard Gaara come out the shower and smirked. He came out the bathroom with just a towel round his waist. His crimson hair was damp and he was blushing slightly. He didn't realize how sexy he looked right now.

"Have you seen my clothes?" He asked innocently.

"Here." I held out what he was looking for. He went to take them, but I lifted them above my head. That's the advantage of having a short boyfriend.

"Lee!" He whined.

"You can have them, but it will cost a kiss."

Gaara pouted. So adorable. "Fine." He said.

I leant down so he could kiss me properly. The poor guy, he was so short that he only came up to my shoulder. Mind you, I was nearly two years older than him. Our lips touched and he wrapped his arms round my neck.

I hugged him close. Nothing could ever express how much I loved him.

"Aw, fuck!" Cursed Gaara, pulling away.

"What?"

His towel had fallen from around his waist. He covered his crotch with his hands, blushing madly. I smirked and pushed him onto the bed.

"A-ah! Lee!" He said irritably, his blush deepening even more.

"What are you so shy about? It is not like I have never seen your dick before."

"W-Well-"

He was cut off when I pressed my lips to his. He moaned and fell back. We made out fiercely and both our tongues were fighting for dominance.

"You are a naughty little uke!" I said.

"Punish me, baby." He breathed. Suddenly, There was a loud knock at the door. Gaara jumped a little.

"Gaara-kun, get some clothes on! Quick!"

"Yeah." He ran into the bathroom with his clothes.

I felt uneasy and got up, then opening my door. A man with dark hair and hazel eyes stood at the door. His skin was tanned and he looked extremely ticked off.

"U-um, Good evening?"

"Where is he?"

"Where is who?" I did not like his tone of voice.

"Don't mock me! Where is Gaara?

"He is using the bathroom. Why? Who are you?"

"Why should I tell a brat like you who I am? As if you didn't already know!"

"Father?" Came Gaara's voice. I heard him come out of the bathroom and stumble toward us. Luckily this time, clothed. "What are you doing here?"

"No, what are _you _doing here?"

"I told you, I was staying with my boyfriend for a few days!"

"You told me nothing, you little punk! Just you wait until we get home!"

"Father, I'm sorry, but you specifically told me that I was able to go."

"I don't remember fuck!"

"That's because you were drunk. As usual."

"Don't back-chat me, boy!"

Gaara clung to my arm. I moved closer to him comfortingly.

"Are you his little boyfriend then?"

I nodded. "My name is Lee. It is a pleasure to meet you, Kazekage-sama."

He gave me a nasty look. "You're not much, are you now?"  
"I suppose not in your eyes."

"I hope you will look after my youngest." He turned to Gaara. "Get your things together."

"Yes, father." Gaara rushed around my apartment, stuffing his belongings into his bag. He came back about a minute later, slightly flushed.

"I promise to protect him with my life!"

"Good. Oh, on a side note..." His father turned. "If you ever hurt him in any way, I shall have you castrated with a burning skewer. Got it?"  
I gulped and nodded. "I would never hurt him. He means everything to me."

He smirked. "And it had better stay that way too."

"It will."

"Come, Gaara. We are leaving."

Gaara went to hug me, but his father grabbed his wrist. "I don't want to see any of that lovey-dovey nonsense in my presence. Just say farewell for now."

"Bye, Lee." He said a little sheepishly.

"Have a good evening, now. I shall phone you in the morning."

He nodded and was pulled out the door. Once he'd left, I watched out the window as he got in a very expensive looking car. Damn, the family even had their own chauffeur! They had to be the richest people on the planet! I'd only been dating Gaara a few months and the only things I'd given him as a gift were flowers and chocolate. What if he wanted more? Maybe a car for his sixteenth? Oh dear lord, I couldn't afford anything like that! And what about his father? Would he think I was a sleazy boyfriend for not buying his youngest son the latest phone or music player every week? Not to mention how strict he was. How would he act if he found out I'd fucked his son? I was starting to worry that I made a bad impression.

A very bad impression.

Gaara POV

As I got into the car, I saw Lee standing at the window and waved. He smiled and waved back.

"Gaara. Stop acting silly. You are no longer a child." Scolded my father.

"Sorry." I stopped waving and rested my hands on my lap. Father was very strict.

"Ever since you started dating that clown, you've become more an idiot. I hope this isn't affecting your grades in any way."  
"Of course it isn't."

He then touched my shirt. "What's that? You've stained it already?"

It was cum. I almost died. "It's toothpaste."

"Doesn't look like it to me."

"Lee has a special kind. He says it makes your teeth whiter."

"Sit still."

I realized I was fidgeting. Thinking about the cum brought make memories of last night and how good the sex felt. I was fidgeting because I was getting hard.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes." I put my hands over my crotch, hoping to stop my hard-on.

Father continued to eye me suspiciously. "Gaara, do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"Yes I do." I lied.

"You went at Lee's. What is the matter with you?"

"I've been drinking a lot."

"Right. You'll have to wait until we get home."

"I know." My stomach growled again and I let out a quiet groan. I was so hungry.

"Did Lee feed you?"

"I don't like eating at other peoples houses..." I mumbled, playing with the bottom of my shirt.

"You mean to say you haven't eaten in two days?"

I said nothing.

"Gaara!"

"Whaat?" I whined.

"Are you fucking joking? Two days?" He was livid.

"Y-Yes... I wasn't really hungry..."  
"Don't use that excuse! Do you want to die?"

"N-No, of course not! Why would I?"

"I am making you a massive meal tonight and you are going to eat all of it! No fucking exceptions! I am not having you starve yourself like that ever again! You stupid, stupid boy!"

"S-Sorry..."

He glared at me.

I never meant to worry him. I just didn't like eating in front of people other than family. It made me feel so nervous, like they wanted me to hurry up. I was a very slow-eater. It also made me feel bad if I left anything on the plate. I was not the type of person to finish a whole meal. Suddenly, something turned my blood cold. Shukaku. My Bijuu. He was making a strange laughing sound. But he wasn't laughing.

He was crying. Closing my eyes, I went deep into my mind and found myself standing in front of the demon himself.

"_Shukaku, what's wrong?" I asked him, approaching the beast slowly. My hand reached out and a stroked his sandy fur lovingly. "Are you alright?"_

"_**Do I look alright? Sure, sex is alright for you, but what happens when you are careless? Do you ever for once think about me?"**_

"_I don't understand... Did you get an infection or something?"_

_He snorted. _**_"Yes! Your careless actions gave me the worst infection of all! But now, I shall pass it to you! See how you like it, you little bastard!" _**_With that, he disappeared and I snapped back to reality._

Father was carrying me into the house bridal-style.

"W-What-"

"You passed out. Was it Shukaku again? Did he want something?" He said, setting me on the floor.

My legs were like jelly. I clung to Father's arm for support, but fell to my knees, head spinning.

"What's the matter?"

"I feel dizzy."

"Okay, come on. I'll put you in bed." He picked me up again and carried me up the stairs, then into my room.

"I'm sick." I said bluntly.

"What?"

"Shukaku said he caught an infection and in his anger, healed himself and then gave it to me. He said it was my fault he was sick in the first place."

"Really? I hope it's nothing serious. You should be better in a few days anyway if you rest properly. Just try not to do anything strenuous. You're still weak because you've not eaten in a while. I'll bring some food up later. Please try to get some sleep." He left the room.

I nodded and curled up in my warm bed, pulling the duvet round me. It was like an act of security. I always did this when I was worried about something, which I was. _What __did Shukaku mean by 'the worst infection of all'? Was he trying to freak me out? Because it was certainly was working. _I thought, rolling onto my stomach. Bad idea. I got the worst shooting pain up my abdomen and coughed a little. It was gone in a split second. I was a little scared now. For all I knew, I could be dying or something.

No. Shukaku wouldn't kill me. He needed me so he could live, as I needed him to live. Feeling slightly better, I got out of bed and walked over to the large mirror in my room. Maybe father was right; I _did _need fattening up. Another dizzy spell hit me and I fell again. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was too weak to get back up.

"Gaara!" Father ran into my room and picked me from the floor.

"I'm fine." I growled, struggling a little. It was no use.

"I told you to rest!" He scolded, putting me back into bed. "Do you want to over-exert yourself to such a point like that?"

"Sorry. I felt a little better so I decided to come downstairs."  
"Stay in bed for now. You can come down later."

"I will do."

He sat on the edge of my bed. "Changing the subject, your boyfriend is a little strange, isn't he?"

"Strange? I love him that way."

He smirked. "I know you do."  
"So what do you think of him?"

"It seems he's decent, so I give him permission to keep seeing you."

I smiled. "Thanks, father."

**Hello!**

**-everyone runs away-**

**Geez, I'm not that scary! ¬_¬**

**Thanks for reading this to the end! Updates may be slow since I have other (unfinished) fanfics at the moment ^^; On top of that, I have lots of requests too! Who cares? I'm happy drawing and writing ^3^ This is my first mpreg fic (even though I've been into it for quite some time now) So please don't be too hard on me, I'm still a beginner. Sorry if this is crap, I promise it'll get better though!**

**ByeBye!**

**~Vampy :}**


	2. Diagnosis

**Chapter 2**

**Diagnosis**

Gaara POV

By the end of the week, I felt worse than ever. The dizziness was so bad that I couldn't even stand without falling over. I also kept getting intense migraines. Painkillers didn't even seem to work anymore and I was almost crying from the agony of it all. I stayed in bed all day, not moving. Shukaku was laughing away madly in my mind and making me feel even more pain. What the hell had he given me? I had never felt so bad in my life. Why now? My phone rang. I weakly took it of the bedside table and put it to my ear. "Hello?"  
"Gaara-kun, is that you?" Came Lee's voice.

"Mhmm..." I grunted in reply.

"What is wrong? You do not sound too well."

"I'm sick. I've been in bed all week."

"I have tried to phone you, but your father told me that you could not get to the phone. Is this the reason why you have not been at school?"

"Yeah... I feel like shit..."

"Would you like me to come over? I can keep you company."

"I don't want you to catch it."

"Oh, I do not mind! I love you and I am worried."

"Thanks. Seriously, you don't have to."

"Is anybody taking care of you?"

"Not really, my dad is home, but he's leaving for work soon."

"I can look after you whilst he is away."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Gaara, I am not leaving you on your own when you are not well. What if you faint and are unable to get back up? You could hurt yourself!"

It looked like he was coming over no matter what. "Alright then, see you in a minute."

"I will be over soon."

"Bye." I ended the call. Lee was so sweet. It would be awful if he caught my illness though... he was so nice to me. Nobody had ever treated me so good in my life. I lay back on my pillow and weakly hugged it closer to me. It felt comforting. When Lee wasn't with me, I felt lonely and missed him terribly. He meant the world to me and I loved him so much-

"Gaara?"  
My thoughts were interrupted once father had come into my room. He sat on my bed. It annoyed me.

"You feeling better?"

"Not really. I've gotten worse to be honest."

"Maybe I should stay and look after you."

"No, it's fine. Lee phoned and he's coming over. He said he wants to take care of me because he's worried."

He looked a little shocked. "That's really nice of him, Gaara. I'll leave for work once he arrives."

"Okay."

Minutes later, there was a knock at my door. Father got up and went downstairs to answer it. I heard him and Lee talking for a while before my boyfriend came upstairs. He knocked on my door. "Gaara-kun? Can I come in?"

"Yeah." I answered. He rushed to my side, an extremely worried look plastered on his face. "Are you alright? Is there anything I can fetch you?"

"I'm fine at the moment, Lee. Thanks for coming over."

"What is the matter with you? Is it the flu?"

"I-I'm not sure. Shukaku gave it to me."

"Shukaku? Your Bijuu?"

I nodded. "I don't feel the common symptoms of a cold. My head just hurts and I'm really dizzy."

He sat on my bed and pulled me against his chest, then cuddling me.

"Lee, you're so nice."

"That is because I love you. I shall try to find out what's wrong with you, eh?"

"Sure."

"Have you had a fever?"

"Not so far."

"Vomiting?"

"A little. Not much though."

"Hmm... I am worried. Maybe you should see a doctor."

"It's my father's job to do that since I can barely move."

He kissed me tenderly on the lips. "I will get you some painkillers. Your father wanted me to give you some." And with that, left.

As soon as he got up from my side, the room seemed to drop a few degrees. Not even my duvet kept me warm. I shivered and curled up a little, trying to regain warmth. Everything seemed cold when he wasn't there. After what felt like an eternity, Lee came back and handed me the pills. I swallowed them dry.

"Gaara-kun... are you cold?"

"I-I'll be fine..."

He raised an eyebrow. "I will not bite."

"I know. You don't have to do all this for me..."

"Need a hug?"

I nodded slowly, blushing a little.

He wrapped his arm round my slender shoulders and pulled me to his body.

"Th-Thank-you, Lee." I snuggled into his warmth and soon fell asleep.

When I awoke, Lee was still holding me in his arms. I felt happy to have him so close.

"Gaara-kun, are you awake?" He asked gently.

"Mm... yeah..."

"Your father will be home any minute now. He has just phoned me."

"Don't go." I tugged on his arm weakly.

He kissed me tenderly on the lips. "I will be back tomorrow. Do not worry."

I heard the front door open. Father came upstairs moments later. He smiled a little on seeing Lee and I cuddling.

"How has he been?" He asked my boyfriend.

"He has been asleep, so I just let him rest."

"No problems? Has he passed out or anything?"

"No, no."

"Good. You can stay the night I guess. It is rather late."

"That would be great, Kazekage-sama. Thank you."

"There's a spare bed over there. You can use that."

Father turned to me. "Can I check your temperature?" He asked.

I nodded. He touched my forehead, then moved his hand to my cheek. "You're not burning up."

"Are you saying I'm faking this?"

"No, Gaara. I can tell you're sick, but it's strange that you've not had a fever."

I said nothing.

"I'll phone the doctor in the morning."

"Thanks."

"Can you get out of bed at all?"

I was far too weak. "No."

"Does it hurt when you try to do so?"

"No, I just... can't. It's way too strenuous."

"So it tires you out?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. If you need anything, shout me, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Bye." He said, walking out the room and going downstairs. Lee sat down on the spare bed in my room and tilted his head to the side slightly. "Gaara-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still cold?"

I nodded and once again, he embraced me until I fell asleep. The rest was short-lived though, since I awoke with a start minutes later.

There was a strange tingling sensation in my abdomen. It was strange, then, it started to hurt. I groaned pushed Lee away, feeling my stomach churn.

"Gaara, are you alright?"

I said nothing and swallowed repeatedly to stop myself from vomiting, but it was no use at all. I couldn't get up, I couldn't even speak. Luckily, Lee seemed to know what was wrong and rushed me to the bathroom where I threw up harshly into the toilet.

He rubbed my back sympathetically. I dry-heaved for a little while until my stomach finally settled down. My muscles were sore. "Ow..."

"Are you alright? It is a good job I knew what was wrong."

I collapsed against the sink. "I hate this..."

"You'll be better soon. It is probably just a virus."

The tingling sensation came back. It had moved quite far down now. Somehow, I knew the vomiting was over for now. In confusion, I groaned. Lee knelt down so his head was level with mine. There was concern and fear in his eyes. "What is wrong?" He began stroking my face lovingly.

I closed my eyes. "Stomach feels funny."

"Can I touch it?"

"Sure." I lifted up my shirt and his hands felt around my ribs.

"It's not there. Go lower."

He obeyed.

"Lower."

"Here?"

"No." I grabbed his hands and placed them against the area below my navel.

He stiffened noticeably.

"What?"

"It feels different. I have touched you there many a time and it has never felt like that before."  
"Like what?" I replaced his hands with my own and pressed down on my stomach. It hurt. "Ow... It's really tender..." I poked at it for a few minutes and realized Lee was right. My stomach _did_ feel a little strange... like something was there...

"Wh-What..." My eyes widened. Was I dying?

"Gaara-kun?"

"Something's not right. Really not right." I whispered.

"I'm sure it's nothing, Gaara-kun."

"Get my father."

"Wh-"

"Lee!"

On noticing my anxiousness and panic, he nodded and got up quickly, then rushing down the stairs; tripping a few times from what I could hear.

"Kazekage-sama!" He yelled.

"Yes?" Came my father's voice.

"Something is wrong with Gaara. You must come quickly!"

I heard two people pounding up the stairs and then seconds later, my father rushed in. "What's wrong?" He asked. I could see my boyfriend standing at the door.

"My stomach... it feels so strange." I said.

"What, you feel like you're gonna throw up?"

"No, I already did that. I meant it feels strange to touch..."

He put his hands on my stomach and pressed down a little.

I winced. "That hurts!"

"You said Shukaku gave you this?"

"Yeah, why? What's the deal?"

He said nothing and his eyes darkened.

"Father?"

No reply. He looked at Lee. "I'm sorry, you need to go."

"K-Kazekage-sama, I-"

"Now!"

Lee stiffened and ran out of my room. I heard the front door slam and then a car engine sounded.  
"Father, what are you doing? He's my boyfriend!" I yelled, feeling extremely ticked off. Who did he think he was? Treating Lee like that!

"Don't say a word." He glared harshly before closing my bedroom door.

I kept silent, feeling terribly confused and angry.

All of a sudden, Father seemed to get angrier. "Have you been having _sex _with that boy?" He hissed.

"N-no!"

"Don't you dare lie to me! He's been fucking you, hasn't he? That little bastard!"

"Father, it's just sex!"  
"Just?_ Just_? Do you realize what you've fucking done to yourself?"  
I glared. "We've been doing it for weeks now! What's the damn problem?"

He grabbed me by the front of my shirt. It scared me.

"Do you think that'll make me calmer with you? It disgusts me that you are no longer pure! You're fifteen, Gaara! Don't you know anything about Bijuu's?"

"What the hell has Shukaku got to do with this? Don't you blame him for anything!"

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"  
"I lost it three weeks ago! I was fifteen then too! Or didn't you notice?"

"Don't you dare speak you me like that! No word can describe how mad I am at you! Not a single word! I shall have you confined to the house! You are not to see that boy ever again! Have I made myself clear?"  
"What?" Tears built up in my eyes and spilled over.

"That's right. No more Lee. He has stole your innocence and now, left you with a permanent reminder! I know damn right what the fuck is wrong with you! But what concerns me the most is what's going on in your sick, twisted little mind! I will not be helping you with anything! Especially after the thing is born!"

"Born?" I felt sick.

"Yes, born!" His yelling was now so loud I was surprised the whole street weren't knocking on my door to complain. "Maybe now, you will wait until you're older before you let people fuck you senseless! I hope this teaches you a fucking lesson, boy, and a damn good one at that!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand!"

"How very naïve of you! I don't give a fuck, Gaara! Don't you even dare to expect help from anybody! Especially from me or your siblings! You brought this on yourself, kid and you'd better be fucking prepared to pay the price of your silly actions!"

I was now sobbing hard out of deep confusion and fear. "W-What do y-you mean?" So many things were running through my mind. Father seemed completely worked up about it, but not worried. It couldn't be anything serious, but I knew I couldn't relax just yet. I watched as he stood, crossing his arms and sneering down at me with angry, yet satisfied hazel eyes. "Congratulations, Gaara. You're pregnant."

"I'm _pregnant_?" My heart sank to the floor.


	3. Don't Leave Me

**Chapter 3**

**Don't Leave Me**

Gaara POV

I stared at father in shock. "I can't get pregnant! I'm a guy!"

"Your demon made it possible! He's morphed your insides so you now have a womb to carry the baby!"

"So that's what he gave me..." I stared at the floor in shock, feeling numb to the core. I touched my stomach where the baby was growing and let out a sigh.

"I want you to get rid of it."

What?"

"You heard me. I will take you to the hospital tomorrow. They will remove it."

"That isn't fair!"

"No, Gaara. What isn't fair, is the fact that you and Lee made this child without even knowing! Do you want this baby to be born so it's parents won't care about it?"  
"I will support it right up until the day I die! I won't make the same mistake you did! I knew you never wanted me anyway!" I screamed. "Mother gave her life for me and you repay her by making me feel this bad? I am not aborting this baby! It's not right since Lee and I had sex willingly! Sure, this will be hard for me, but at least I'll give it a chance in life rather than kill it without a second thought!"

"Gaara, don't you dare say that I don't care about you! I love you with all my heart! You and your siblings mean the world to me! You won't cope with a baby! You are fifteen years-old! You have exams! What makes you think that bringing a baby into the world would be okay? It was hard for me to raise your siblings and you and I was in my twenties! I also had your mother's help! What if Lee breaks up with you? What will happen then? I am not going to help you out, Gaara! It's your fault in the first place!"

He had a point. What if Lee did leave? What would I do then? I wasn't going to give up yet. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, there was a knock at my door. "Father? What's going on in there?" Came my sister's anxious voice.

"Temari, come in here now and see what your idiot brother has done now!"

I heard the door open and my older sister. Temari came in; followed by my brother, Kankuro.

"Good, you're both here. Come sit down and listen to this. Tell them, Gaara."

I was too choked up with anger and frustration to even speak.

Temari got up to comfort me, but father stopped her. "Leave him be. He deserves to feel so guilty."

Kankuro stood then. "Father, what's going on?" There was fear and worry in his voice.

"Both of you sit down. Your little brother has made a big mistake. I want you both to learn from it and feel damn lucky this isn't happening to you."

I forced myself up despite the dizziness and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. There, I broke into a fit of sobs and collapsed on the tiled floor. I couldn't believe that father was going to show me up like that! What would be siblings think? Temari would kill me for sure; But what about Kankuro? He would most probably disown me. Moments later, I heard both my siblings yelling at him. Footsteps pounded toward the door. "Gaara, is this fucking true?" Yelled Kankuro. "Open this door!" He pounded strong wood with his fists. "Gaara!"

"Leave him alone, Kankuro! Don't you think he feels bad enough?" Scolded Temari's voice.

"He's pregnant! That isn't fucking normal!"

"You know what, baka? You are just like father! Get the hell out of my sight before I clobber you!"

"Clobber me then! I won't be able to look at him ever again! It's fucking disgusting! He's let some random idiot fuck him and now he's knocked up!"

There was a loud smack and Kankuro cried out in pain.

It was silent for a while. I finally managed to stop crying, but even letting all them tears out didn't make me feel any better.

"Gaara?" Came Temari's soft voice.

I said nothing.

"Can you unlock the door, honey? I'm getting worried."

I reached up and pulled the lock back. My sister opened the door and came in.

"Come to demolish the rest of my dignity?" I asked in a monotone voice.

She sighed and closed the door, then locking it. "No, I haven't. I came by to see if you're alright. How are you feeling? You've been locked up in there for a while."

"I don't care."

"Don't be like that. You need to get back into bed and stop whining. Everything will be fine."

"I'm pregnant, Temari! Nothing is fine!

"I know this is a shock for you, but you need to start thinking about your baby. Laying curled up on the floor won't help the poor thing at all! Come on, I'll put you back in bed."

"I'm not sick!"

"Gaara, now."

I stood a little too quickly and my head swam, forcing me to the floor again. Temari grabbed me so I didn't hurt myself.

"Slow down, you're making yourself dizzy!"

I ignored her and got up again and she lead me back to my room. Once there, I flopped on the bed and curled up under the duvet, finding it somewhat comforting.

"Gaara, don't worry about a thing. I'm on your side, here." Temari said.

"At least I have somebody." I gave her a hug; something I'd never done before. She returned the hug and then left the room.

Soon after, I drifted into an uncomfortable slumber.

Lee POV

No phonecalls from Gaara since two nights ago. I was starting to worry. Why did his father want me to leave? Picking up my cell, I dialled in his number.

"Hello?"

"Gaara. It is Lee."

"U-Umm... I- I have something t-to tell y-you."

"Why are you stuttering?"

"Come o-over." The line went dead. My apprehension worsened and I felt knots in my stomach. Gaara sounded terrified and extremely nervous. Also, he seemed a little dazed when he spoke; as if he wasn't really there. I grabbed my coat and rushed out the door, into my car, then drove straight to Gaara's house. Once there, I darted over to the front door, only to have his brother, Kankuro come out immediately and give me a hard shove.

"Wha-"

"Shut the fuck up!" He pinned me against the wall. "What the fuck are you even doing here, bastard? Don't you think you've harmed Gaara enough?"

"Harmed him? I would never-"  
"Don't give me that bullshit! You've fucking stolen his innocence! Give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn't kill you right now!"

"Kankuro! Leave him alone!" Yelled a familiar voice. Gaara was rushing toward us.

His brother let out a hiss. "You little punk!" He grabbed his arm tight.

"A-ah! That hurts, Aniki!" He whined, trying to free himself.

I grabbed Kankuro by the front of his shirt. "Let him go!"

"Don't you fucking touch me!"

"You're hurting him!"

"I don't give a shit!"

"He's your brother!"

Gaara struggled a little more, but his brother tightened his grip immensely, making the boy cry out in pain.

"Ow! Stop it!" He yelped.

"What did father say about this guy, idiot? He's bad fucking news, so why can't you just fucking listen for once?"

"Don't you dare speak about Lee like that!" Gaara then landed a swift punch to Kankuro's face, making him stumble backwards. "You've done it now!" He yelled, punching him hard in the stomach.

"Gaara!" I grabbed him as he fell. "Are you alright?"

"O-Ow..."

I turned to his brother. "I am taking him back to my house! You have hurt him!"

"Get your hands off of him!" He rushed over to us and grabbed Gaara's shoulder. "Gaara?- Oh shit, does everything feel okay? I didn't mean to hit you there!"

"Don't fucking touch me!"

I felt confused. Why did Gaara get so wound up that he got hit in the stomach? What was wrong with him? I decided enough was enough and carried my boyfriend into the car, then placed him in the passenger seat. Kankuro banged on the window.

"Gaara, get out of there!"

He said nothing and tears filled his eyes. I drove and kept looking over at him in deep concern. Once we got to my house, I took him out of the car and carried him bridal-style through my door. He had a hand over his stomach.

"Did it hurt that much when he hit you?"

He nodded, more tears filling his eyes.

"Hey, hey! Do not cry. It is alright. I am here for you."

"Th-Thanks..."

I could tell by his voice that something was not right. "What is the matter?"

"Lee...There's something I need to tell you."

"Go ahead."

He took a deep breath. "I am a Jinchuuriki... you know that part, but you didn't know that Bijuu's can change things..."

"What do you mean?"

"That night... when we had sex twice in one night. You remember that, don't you?"

I nodded slowly, my arm around his shoulders.

"W-Well, Shukaku had changed himself... for a joke, yeah? He didn't realise that when you came inside me... you somehow _fertilized_ his egg."

"Are you saying that I got your Bijuu pregnant?"

"A-At first... yeah. But he got pissed at me for it and... he..." Gaara took another breath to compose himself. I could tell he was about to burst into tears. On keeping his emotions under control, he continued. "Shukaku passed the pregnancy... to me. He created a womb inside me to carry the baby..."

I was in shock. "You are pregnant? By me?"

He broke down and doubled over in a fit of untameable sobs. "Please... don't leave me, Lee! Please! H-Help me..."

I didn't know what to say. Of course, I had no intentions of leaving him anyway, but my voice wouldn't work due to the shock and fear. I soon found myself subconsciously running into my bedroom and locking the door behind me. Outside, I could hear Gaara sobbing still. My mind wanted me to rush out and give him a hug, but my body was frozen on the spot. This all seemed too real.

I awoke leaning up against the door and remembered last night; soon realizing that I'd probably fallen asleep without knowing. Then a thought occurred.

Gaara.

Reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I rushed out the bedroom, desperately searching for my lover. He was nowhere to be found. There wasn't even a trace of him anywhere in my sight.

"Gaara!" I called, checking every room. Nothing.

"Come on, sweetie, where are you?"

Nothing. I rushed out onto the early morning streets, shaking like a leaf from worry and regret. The ground was drenched and the air was cold, indicating that there had been heavy rain last night. I got as far as the park when I saw a figure curled up near the bus stop. As I got closer, I soon realized it was Gaara. Instantly, I rushed toward him. He stared up at me; looking hurt and confused.

"Gaara..." I touched his forehead. "You have a fever. Did you catch a cold?"

He didn't say anything.

"I am so sorry for leaving you like that. My legs wouldn't let me up... I was completely frozen on the floor."

"Just leave me alone. If you don't want this baby, I don't care. I will look after her myself. It's just a little sad that she won't know both of her parents."

"Her?"

"Yes, she's a girl. Shukaku told me."

Everything was happening far too quick for me. I changed the subject to give my mind a sense of reality. "Gaara. I did not mean to upset you yesterday. Please forgive me!"

He suddenly buried his face into his knees.

I knelt down beside him. His body was frozen to the touch. "You feel so cold..."

He kept silent.

"Please let me take you back to my place."

He looked up with tear-filled eyes.

"Bless you. Come here." I hugged him close to my body, not caring how cold he was. Maybe my body heat would warm him up.

"Fine." He got up, but started breathing ragged and fell. Luckily, I managed to catch him. "Okay, okay. I need to get you back." I picked him up gently. He complied and lay his head on my shoulder as I carried him back to the house. Once inside, I put him on my bed to realize he'd fallen asleep.

"Gaara."

"Hmm, what?" He asked irritably.

"You need to get out of your wet clothes."

"Let me sleep."

"Gaara, now."

"What can I wear?"

"You left these here." I handed him his other clothes and he went into the bathroom to get changed. I wanted to take a little peek, but decided against it since he was still a little pissed at me. After he came out, I made him lay in bed and rest.

I needed to talk to him. The silence between us was much too hard to ignore. "Gaara?"

"Yeah?"

"Um... Are you alright?"

He looked at me strangely. "Yes, I'm fine."

He fell asleep quickly after that and I lay beside him, stroking gently down his body. He looked so innocent and sweet. Never before had I loved anybody so much. I still didn't know how to feel about his pregnancy. I was in shock. Of course I would love our child with all my heart, but the reality that we were already starting a family made everything seem unbearably daunting. Subconsciously, my hand rested on his still flat stomach, where our baby was growing. I smiled at that thought before drifting to a peaceful slumber.

**Gaara POV**

When I awoke, I felt a lot better. I was just about to turn onto my side when I became aware of something warm on my lower abdomen. Lee had his hand over where our baby was. I curiously touched the area and instead of feeling pain like usual, it felt rock-hard.

Lee awoke and his hand slid off, but I put it back on. He looked at me sleepily. "Wh-"

"Can you feel? She's growing."

He smiled, but I could see it wasn't genuine. "Yes."

I lay on him and we locked fingers. "Lee, are you going to leave me?"

"Of course not, Gaara-kun. Now why would you think that?"

I shrugged. We cuddled for a while, occasionally kissing. Lee held me the whole time.

Suddenly, I moved away from him and sat up.

"What is wrong?"

Mmnn..." I groaned, rushing into the bathroom and throwing up harshly in the toilet.

Lee ran in. "Are you alright? Why are you vomiting?"

"Morning sickness."

"Is that because you are pregnant?"

"Yeah." I got up and flushed the toilet. Throwing up was starting to become more of a daily routine than an occasional thing when you ate something bad.

"Do you need anything?" Asked Lee.

"No, I'll be fine. It's normal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Shukaku will tell me if something is wrong."

"Alright then."

We both went back into the main living area and I heard my phone ring. I looked at Caller ID and saw it was my father.

"Hello, father."

"Don't you 'Hello father' me!"

"G-Gomenensai."

"Why did you run away?"  
I let out an exasperated sigh. "Kankuro hurt me! He punched me in the stomach!"

"I shall speak to him later about that. Where are you?"

"I-I'm at Lee's..."

"Lee's? I told you to stay away from him!"

"I don't care! You can't stop me from seeing him!"

"Yes, I can! I will confine you to the fucking house! I'll have that little bastard arrested! I'm in two minds whether to call the police right now!"

"You know what father? You're powerless! Nothing can stop me! I fucking hate you!" I screamed, ending the call. I was almost in tears from how angry I was. A parent should be happy when their child gets their first boyfriend or girlfriend. He was fine with Temari and Kankuro, so why not me? I was starting to believe that I was only put on this earth for him to wreck my life. I just hoped he was fucking satisfied. Suddenly, I received a text message from him. It read:

_If you are not home in twenty minutes, I will have Lee arrested for kidnap. You are in trouble, Gaara._

I turned to my boyfriend. "I need to go home. Father is really pissed off."

"I am not surprised after the language you used on him."

"He doesn't want me to see you anymore! That's why I said I hated him!"

"You cannot hate him, Gaara. He is your father."

"Yeah, well guess what? I do hate him!" I growled, getting my clothes together in a bag. I was just about to leave when Lee grabbed my arm gently.

"I will drop you off at home."

"But if my family see you-"  
"I do not care. As long as you get home safely. That is my first and only priority."

"Are you sure?"

"I insist. Come on."

"Thanks Lee." I said as we left his apartment and walked over to the car.

"Don't mention it." He started up the engine and drove. Halfway down the road, I suddenly had this sinking feeling that he was going to break up with me. He'd told me before that we would be together forever, but somehow, I could tell he was just as shocked as me. He'd also not mentioned the baby, which worried me a great deal. What if all the things he promised me were lies? What if having a pregnant boyfriend was just too much for him to handle?

"Gaara, what is wrong?"

"I'm scared you're going to leave me."

"Why? You seemed fine this morning."

"I just have a feeling that you will leave. I don't want you to go."

He took a hand off the steering wheel and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "I will not leave you for the world. You must understand that."

I leant over and planted a kiss on his lips, then got back in my seat.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of car tyres screeching, then a crash. Glass smashed and splintered all inside the car.

"What the-" Lee was cut off by another crash. This one in particular, caved the back door in and and swung the car over the edge of the road where a large drop waited. Below, many jagged rocks anticipated our car's impalement.

**A/N: Another chapter guys! Well done me. But I had a little help from my dear friend: cfcgirl24**

**You should check out her story, 'cause it's awesome.**

**Anyway, updates have been faster than usual as you can see. My friends have been saying that it's a new record for me! :D**

**I ended it on a cliffhanger... AGAIN!**

**Geez, I really do enjoy torturing you guys, huh? **

**Until the next update: ByeBye! And don't forget to review! :}**


	4. Loss

**Chapter 4**

**Lost**

Gaara POV

I didn't know what happened. One second, we were in the car talking, the next second, the car had fallen off the edge of the road and was hurtling down toward some rocks. Once it hit the bottom, glass smashed everywhere and a rock penetrated the door, then smashing into my ribs. The pain was so bad that I couldn't cry out or make any noise. The car rolled over a few times before the movement came to a halt. I came to my senses and felt blood running down the side of my face. When I looked down, I found that my leg was impaled to the floor of the car by a large piece of metal and more worryingly, my ribs were caved in on the right side. My heart thudded in my chest and I started shaking from fear. All I saw was blood everywhere. Every time I tried to inhale, I got this intense shooting pain that tore through my nerves and paralysed me completely. After desperately trying to ignore it all, I turned as much as I could to the side and saw Lee. He was drenched in his own blood.

"Gaara... a-are you alright?" He asked. His voice sounded different.

I shook my head, unable to speak from the amount of pain I was in.

He moved toward me, but suddenly fell forward.

_No... don't be... please..._ I tried to move towards him, but agony ripped through my body like I'd never felt before, forcing a weak cry from my throat. Despite all, I reached over and held his hand, praying that help would come soon. My phone was in my pocket, but I was in such agony that I couldn't get to it My ribs were hurting so much. I held my breath to ease the pain at least a little bit, but it only worsened. Soon, my head was swimming from lack of oxygen and taking deep breaths to get it to normal level was impossible. I suffered for a few more minutes before blackness invaded my vision.

I awoke slowly, feeling confused. My whole body ached; especially my ribs. I couldn't remember much; only being in a car... blood trickling down my face... pain... Eventually, I found the strength to open my eyes. Everything was blurry at first, but the white ceiling of a hospital came into view. I blinked a couple of times and lay there, feeling confused and scared. There was a figure beside my bed.

It was my father.

"Dad?" I said weakly. My voice barely worked.

"Gaara, are you awake?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Thank God you're still alive! We thought we'd lost you. The staff told us you wouldn't make it. How are you feeling?"

I glared at him, remembering our previous conversation and then my mind drifted to Lee. He was in the car too... Was he okay? "Where... is... Lee?" I managed to croak out with great difficulty.

Father looked at the floor and seemed to be hesitating to tell me anything. "Lee is..." He started shakily, then paused again, this time longer and turned away "I can't do this." I heard him whisper.

I forced myself into a sitting position and grimaced as pain tore into me. I ignored it. Lee was my only priority at that moment. "What? Where the hell is he?" It was starting to get me frustrated. I had to know!

Father sighed. "Gaara..." He gripped my hand. "Lee suffered internal bleeding to the chest..."

Using the past tense? What had happened?

"I'm sorry, but he... He's gone."

I stared at him hard. Did he really just say that? Lee was gone? "W-What?"

"The doctors and nurses did everything they could... but it wasn't enough."

Time stood still as I felt my heart slowly breaking.  
"I'm so sorry. They tried everything they could, but it wasn't enough."

I closed my eyes as if to block out the world. Lee was alive... He wasn't dead... He couldn't be... I burst into tears, endless sobs erupting from my body. A never-ending black whole had been cut into my heart, Nothing seemed to ease the pain as my life fell apart. Lee was gone... he would never come back... I would never feel his warm embrace ever again... see his signature smile... Feel his lips caress my own... Gone... he was gone... I felt a weight next to my on the bed and looked up. Father wrapped his arms around me, but I pushed him away weakly. I didn't want him, I wanted Lee! "Are you fucking satisfied?" I yelled. "You've ruined my life! If you hadn't told me to come home, Lee would still be here! You wanted him to die! You fucking bastard! I hate you!"

"Don't think like that-"  
"Fuck the hell off! I never want to speak to you again!" I sobbed harder, the pain in my heart getting worse and worse. More tears poured down and they wouldn't stop. By now, I was screaming for my dark-haired lover with all willpower I had left. Anything to bring him back. Anything at all. I heard the door open and recognised my sister's voice.

"Father, I think it would be best you leave. I'll talk to him." Said Temari.

"Right." I heard Father open the door and walk out.

Temari sat on my bed and held me tight whilst I sobbed in her arms.

"Gaara, you know it's not his fault! I heard what you said to him!"

"Don't yell at me! Lee is dead and all you can do is make me feel worse?"

"I'm not trying to upset you, Gaara! Just listen to me!"

"Don't fucking touch me!" I struggled hard and the pain was so bad that I screamed.

"Gaara! You're going to hurt yourself!"

I gave up, unable to breathe. Everything was crashing down. My heart had never ached so much. Temari rubbed my back comfortingly. I couldn't believe Lee was gone... Not him... he meant everything to me... What the hell was I going to do?

"Calm down. Shh, it's okay. Crying like this won't help the baby, will it?"

"The baby! Is she alright?" Oh god no... please let her be okay... Please...

"She is fine. Shukaku must've protected her."  
I sighed in relief. At least I still had her.

"You need to forgive father. Nothing was his fault. Just remember that you, Kankuro and me are his only kids, the only family he has left and we need to help each other out. He tries hard for us all."

"He tried to stop me from seeing Lee."  
"That was for your benefit. Of course he gets a little overprotective, but that's because he cares."  
I started crying again.

Temari sighed. "Lee wouldn't want you to feel this way. He'd want you to be happy."

"Happy? How the fuck can I be happy after losing the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?"

"You can't be miserable forever. You will find another person to love you just like Lee did."

"Lee is the only person I could ever love! I can't be with anyone else!"

"I know it's hard, but you have to move on." She rubbed my back sympathetically as I cried myself to sleep.

_I stood surrounded by a bright white light and felt relaxed and happy. After all I'd been through, I should've felt depressed._

"_Gaara-kun." Came a voice._

_I turned to the sound of my name and felt a pair of lips connect with mine. Lee was kissing me for the final time. We pulled away, but he was holding both my hands._

"_Lee... why did you leave?" I asked, feeling a stray tear roll down my cheek_

_His soft gaze met mine and he wiped the tear away with his thumb, then gently tilted my head up. "I had to leave... Heaven needed me. I am in a better place now."  
"I love you... please, Lee... Stay with me... I can't do this alone!" I was full-on sobbing now and clinging to him, refusing to let him go. "I love you!"_

"_You need to move on. I cannot go back now... My body is dead."_

"_What about our daughter? She won't have you there! You will never get to see her grow up!"_

"_Gaara-kun, she will grow up to be beautiful... just like you... I will always visit in your dreams, You will be there for her when she's awake, and I will guide her when she's asleep. I won't ever let you go. You both mean the world to me."_

"_I don't wanna wake up, Lee, I wanna stay with you in this moment forever! It hurts so much to realize that we'll be apart! I can't go on without you!"_

"_You have our daughter to look after now."  
I said nothing and started shaking._

"_I have to go now."_

"_No! Lee!" He started to fade away into the light, I ran after him, but the light got smaller and smaller until he was completely engulfed by it. Now, he was gone forever and there only lay darkness. The happiness I felt before had been replaced by negativity. I fell to my knees, feeling empty._

"Gaara, wake up, honey!" Came a male voice. "Come on, open your eyes."

I awoke and saw father standing over me.

"Are you alright?"

I said nothing and remembered what Temari said. She was right. None of this was his fault. My eyes filled with tears. "I-I'm sorry..." I whispered.

"Don't be sorry. You were upset, so you were bound to snap like that."

I said nothing.

"I need to discuss with the Hokage about your pregnancy. I'll be back soon."

Was he going to make me abort the baby? "Dad... No... Please don't make me get rid of her! Please! I'll never expect you to help me or anything! I'll stay out of your way, but please let me keep her! She means everything to me! She's all I have left of Lee!" I begged frantically.

"Gaara, calm down! Stop crying."

"Father, please!"

"I'm not going to make you have an abortion! I just need to ask Tsunade to speak to you about the baby and stuff like that."

"So why have you been telling me to get rid of her?"

"Gaara, I just don't think you're ready to have a child. You've just turned fifteen."

"I don't care what the fuck you think."

"Hey! Don't use that language on me!" He was getting very pissed off with me, I could tell. I wasn't fucking stupid. This baby was my life, my world, my pride and joy even if she was not yet born. She was all I had left of Lee. Father was disappointed with me, but why? I didn't ask to get pregnant! I didn't even know I could get pregnant! How many male pregnancies actually occur? I'm guessing that it's not a common thing.

"Well maybe if you told me I could get pregnant, I would've been more careful! You knew that I'd have sex sooner or later, so why didn't you warn me?"

He sighed. "You're right, I should've said something, but you're still too young to be having sex. Just because you're a boy doesn't mean you can do it all the time and not expect any consequences! Look at you! You're pregnant! You do realize that your teenage life is over now, don't you? Once that baby is born, it will depend on you for every little thing!"

"My baby is a she! Not an it!"

"Don't be smart with me! I will not stand for you having sex all the time! It's not normal!"

"It wasn't all the time! We did it when we were ready! We loved each other!" I sat up a little too quickly and screamed as my ribs protested strongly.

A nurse came in and turned to my father. "Kazekage-sama, your son is seriously injured and you can't stress him out like that!"

He sighed. "Sorry."

The nurse came up to me. "I need to check your ribs. Lift up your shirt."

I obeyed.

"Still a lot of pain?"

"Yeah."

"It's going to take some time to heal. Unfortunately, the damage was so bad that the long-term effects are permanent and you will have a reasonable amount pain there for the rest of your life."

I let out a shaky sigh. I'd never been injured this bad before. Come to think of it, I'd never had to stay in hospital either. So far, I just wanted to go home.

Do you need any pain relief?" Asked the nurse.

"I'm fine at the moment, thanks."

"Shout me if you need anything."

I nodded. "Sure."

She smiled and left the room.

"Gaara." Said my father.

I looked up at him. "Try and get some rest. I'm sorry for being so cold like that." He hugged me briefly. "I love you and I'll come to see you in the morning."

"I'm sorry too. I guess everything seems to be making me angry at the moment."  
"It's alright. The Hokage will be over in about five minutes. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

I felt bad from the argument I had with my father. Everything was fine now, but I still wanted to apologize again just to make sure he forgave me properly; What I said was bang out of order. I mean, shouting at him like that? I was surprised that he didn't ground me for life, but I guessed that he decided against punishment because ever since Lee died, my head was a mess and on top of that, the pregnancy didn't help. Thinking about the pregnancy, I started to wonder what my daughter would look like. Would she look like me and have Lee's personality? Or would it be the other way round? Maybe she'd have a bit of both in her. I touched my still flat stomach and wondered how many months it would be until the baby bump actually started to grow. So far, the only signs of pregnancy that had occurred were morning sickness and mood swings. At the moment, the symptoms weren't so severe, but I strongly feared that they would gradually get worse.


	5. Love Me Forever

**Chapter 5**

**Love me forever**

There was a sudden knock at my door, snapping me right out of my thoughts.

"Um, yeah?" I called.

A blonde, middle-aged woman walked through the door quite cautiously. I'm not a pervert, but I couldn't believe the size of her breasts. They were _huge_! The fact that she was wearing a very revealing top didn't help.

"Hello Gaara, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Who are you?"

"I'm Lady Tsunade. Your father asked me to talk to you about your pregnancy."  
I nodded. So _she _was the Hokage of Konoha.

"It's awful what happened to Lee isn't it? He was such a good person. You must've loved him very much."

"I still do."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Don't be sorry. You weren't driving that other car, were you?"

She shook her head sadly. "How are you coping with the death?"

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I still couldn't believe that he was gone. "Please... I don't want to talk about this."

"Alright. I understand."

I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from crying.

"Are you going to be okay to talk? I can always come back another day."  
"No, it's okay. I need to hear this."

"Right, how did you find out you were pregnant?"

"My father told me."

"Did you take a test?"

"No."

"Well, when you were in a coma, your father told me about the pregnancy. He was concerned for the baby and asked me to examine you. I can double-confirm that you are definitely pregnant.

I smiled a little, feeling happy that I still had my daughter.

"Have you had any stomach pain?"

"Nope. Just my ribs."

"Right. So are you getting any pregnancy symptoms?"

"I keep throwing up and stuff like that."

"Can you take off your shirt?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I need to examine you."

I sighed and did what she said.

"I'm going to check how the baby is doing with my chakra... it may feel a little strange."

"O-okay." I squirmed a little as the green energy made contact with my skin. It felt warm and tingly.

"Just try to relax."

A few more seconds passed and the hand moved away.

"Everything is fine, though the pregnancy will hurt a little as the baby grows because you're a little shorter and thinner than an average male of your age and it will take some time for your body to adjust to it."

I nodded. "How far along am I now?"

"About three weeks."

Seriously? It was that long ago since Lee and I had sex?

"Well how long was I out for after the crash?"

"A week and a half I think."

"That long?" Then a thought occurred. "When is Lee's funeral?" It hurt to put 'Lee' in the same sentence as 'funeral' This didn't seem real. I kept hoping that I'd wake up in the comfort of Lee's arms to realize this was all a horrible nightmare.

But it wasn't.

"It hasn't been decided."

I nodded slowly.

"Are you going to attend?"

"Well, of course."

"I'll let you know when the date is."

"Thank you."

"I'll leave you to rest now. Bye"

"Yeah, bye." I watched as she left the room. I was alone again.

After a week, I was finally discharged. I lay on the sofa, feeling exhausted for no apparent reason. When I found out that Lee died, I thought I'd be too heartbroken to do anything. But I felt nothing. I was numb with grief. No more tears had been shed ever since that fateful day. I wonder what my little girl would think. It hurt me to think that she will never know who her daddy was, or what he was like. Lee would have been a brilliant dad.

I sighed as my stomach began to hurt, indicating I as going to throw up. I didn't know how much longer I could take this morning sickness; It drove me insane. But at the end of the day I knew it would all be worth it, this would all be worth it when I see that first smile on her pretty face.

"Gaara?"

I looked up.

"How are you feeling?" Asked my father.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired."

He sat down beside me. "So, have you decided what to call the baby?"

"I have a name in mind."  
"What is it?"  
"Kaeda."

"I like it. It's a nice name."

"Isn't it?"

"Hey, I'm here for you, Gaara. Don't be afraid to ask me anything."

"Well, you weren't like that before."

"I was just a little shocked that you'd had sex. I never knew that Lee meant so much to you and I guess it scared me a little to know you were growing up. I know I can't blame you for having sex and I should've told you that you could get pregnant because of Shukaku, but I guess I was a little too late."

"You was."

"I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"If you told me that I could get pregnant, I would've used protection."

"Well at least you are sensible."

I said nothing and lay against him. I hadn't ever shown him any affection, but now, I really needed somebody.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He asked, wrapping his arms round me.

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Having the baby. I mean, does it really hurt as much as they say?"

"You'll be fine, Gaara. When you get near your due date, I will make sure that somebody stays with you all the time in case you go into labour. The contractions will hurt, but since you can't give birth normally, you will have a caesarian."

"What's that?"

"You don't know what that is?"

"No."

"A caesarian is surgery to get the baby out. You will be awake, but you won't feel anything."

"That doesn't sound too nice."

"It won't hurt, I promise."

My stomach suddenly churned. I ran into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. Seriously, it was really starting piss me off. Every single day, I had to endure it.

"Believe me, morning sickness is only the beginning. You'll find out all the other symptoms soon." Said my father, who stood at the door.

"God." I whispered under my breath. "Now I feel sorry for girls."

"Remember you have school next week. If you're not up to it, then I can let you have another week or two off."  
"No, it's fine. I've missed too much school. It's bad."

"Alright. If you need to come home because you're not feeling well, then just phone me and I will come fetch you."

"Sure."

By next Monday, I was getting ready for school when there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. 7:30? Jeez. Probably the mail man. I went over and opened it, surprised to find Naruto standing there. Instead of grinning as usual, he looked sympathetic and sad. "Gaara. How are you holding up? I'm so sorry about Lee."

Why did everybody have to remind me of my misery? Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"I would be if you didn't speak about what happened."  
"I'm sorry."

I sighed. "I just need to get my schoolbag and then I'll be ready. Come inside. It's raining out there."

"Okay. Thanks. We don't have to leave just yet. It's pretty early. We have to be at school by nine."

I suddenly felt morning sickness come on. Of course, I hadn't told Naruto about my pregnancy... He would freak out!

"What's wrong? You feeling sick?"

"I j-just need to-" I was cut off when my stomach started to heave. I barely made it in the bathroom on time before vomiting. Naruto came in behind me and rubbed my back. "You okay? Should I fetch somebody?"

"N-No... I'll be fine." I said, flushing the toilet and standing up.  
"You're too sick to come to school, Gaara."

"I'm going no matter what."

My father then came downstairs. "I'll drop you off at school. I don't want you walking all that way." He then saw Naruto. "Oh, hello."

My blonde friend grinned. "Hey there Non-Believer!"

I rolled my eyes at Naruto's nickname for my father.

"Gaara!"

"Yes, father?"

"What is this?" he held up my sport gear.

"I have cricket today."

"You are not doing any sport."

"Why not?"

"Let me think. You were in a serious car accident, in a coma for just over a week, crushed the right side of your ribcage and have been in hospital for three weeks."

"I need to get back to a normal life, father! I will not be stuck inside all day! You can't protect me forever!"

"I don't want you over-exerting yourself!"

"Oh, shut up will you? You're giving me a headache!" I growled, walking out the door. Naruto followed.

"Wow, you owned him there."

"You can shut up too!"

"Alright, jeez!"

Later on that afternoon, I regretted doing gym. Running back and forth to the post was tiring me out. Usually, I could run five laps around a nine hundred meter pitch and feel fine; but not now. Feeling dizzy and out of breath, I stopped.

"What the hell, Gaara! We're gonna lose!" Yelled one of my peers. Then, the whole team were yelling at me. "Get up, idiot!"

I growled, ignoring them.

"What do you think you're doing?" My teacher came up to me.

"I don't feel well." I replied.  
"I don't care! Your team are going to lose!"  
"Who cares?"

"Your peers care! Now carry on, you whiny little girl!"

"No."

"Don't refuse young man!"

"Too bad. I already refused."

"Gaara!"

"What? Will you just fucking leave me alone?"

"Don't speak to me like that."

"Shut the fuck up." I walked away and joined my team who were glaring daggers at me. My vision suddenly went fuzzy and darkened at the corners.

Sasuke turned. "You're such a brat, Gaara! Learn to grow up."  
"Yeah!" Sakura agreed and turned to the raven. "You are so right, Sasuke-kun!"

"Shut up. You're just like that dobe Naruto."

The pink-haired girl shut up and stared at the floor.

I felt myself beginning to pass out. Next thing I knew, I was falling and hit the ground just as I lost consciousness.

I felt myself moving and opened my eyes cautiously. My teacher was carrying me off of the field where my classmates stood, staring.

Then, everything went black again.

I woke up in my own bed. I looked and next to me was a note from my father saying:

_Gone to work. Don't bother to go to school. Temari will look after you._

I sighed and leant forward, wincing as my vision fuzzed out again. My head was still a bit funny from passing out. Not really thinking, I looked up and in the corner of my room was Lee. Wait... Lee? What the? I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but my lover was standing there as clear as day.

"Hello Gaara." Came his voice.

"Lee? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you two are doing."

"But Lee... You're dead." I was cut off by a sweet kiss he planted on my lips. This was ecstasy... He was here, with me... He was real and he still loved me. I kissed him back, feeling that warm embrace I'd missed so much...

Suddenly the alarm clock went off I jerked awake. Feeling hopeful, I looked around, hoping to see my dark-haired love, but he was nowhere to be seen. "Damn it!" I cursed. How could I be so stupid to believe that Lee was still alive? It was a dream! A stupid dream! But yet it felt so real. Why did I have to wake up? Why? I broke down sobbing, unable to hold the tears back. I loved him so much! Why did he have to leave? I needed him! Suddenly, I remebered I had to stop because our baby could hear me. The tears stopped, but I was still shaking like a leaf from the shock. Temari then walked in.

"Hey, Gaara I was just coming to wake you. How are you feeling?" She asked, sitting on my bed.

I said nothing.

"What's wrong? You've been crying, haven't you?" She asked, hugging me.

"I had a dream about Lee... I miss him so much."

"I know you do. He'll always love you, Gaara. Just remember that."

"Thanks."

"So how are you feeling? You really gave us a scare yesterday."

"I'm fine now. My head just feels a little funny.

"Yeah it will do. Just take it easy for a while and don't do anything strenuous."

I nodded.

"It's freezing in here. Aren't you cold?"  
"A little."

"Come downstairs. You need to be kept warm."

"I'm fine."

"Gaara! That isn't a request, it's an order!"

I sighed and got out of bed, wincing as the morning sickness hit me like a ton of bricks. It was really starting to tick me off. I hated vomiting. It was the most awful thing ever. Once I was done, I obeyed my sister and went down. It was a comfortable heat. Not too hot. The phone suddenly rang. Temari picked it up.

"Hello?" She answered.

I listened curiously.

"Yes, he's here." She turned to me and mimed 'it's for you' then handed the phone to me.

"Yeah?"  
"Gaara, it's Tsunade."

"Hi."

"I don't know whether this is the right time to tell you this, but Lee's funeral is on Friday."

I let out I sigh. I'd seen him this morning! This was too real.

"Gaara?"

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I'll be there."

"Good. See you then."


	6. Final Goodbye

**Chapter 6**

**Final Goodbye**

I was scared. It was Lee's funeral and I didn't know if I could face his friends at all. Of course they knew about our relationship, but they didn't know I was pregnant. What if I fainted? Or threw up right in front of everybody? Surely if they found out, I'd never be able to return to Konoha ever again. I walked out of the rented house that Temari and I were staying in. I didn't want Kankuro here and father was busy with work. My sister was the only one who I could talk to openly, so I asked her to come instead. Walking down the street, I soon recognized some of Lee's friends; all dressed in black, like me. They stared. Probably wishing that I'd been killed instead. I kept my head down, not wanting to look anybody in the eye. Ever since Lee died, I seemed to had lost all of my confidence, which was dwindling before we even met. But he healed me in a way that nobody else could. With him there. Everything seemed so much better and he spoke positively to make me feel like the most important person in the world. Nobody in the world could ever make me feel so secure again. He was everything to me.

"Gaara?"

I stopped walking and closed my eyes. _Go away... I can't do this..._

"It's me." Said Neji

"Hello."

"You came?"  
"Well he was my boyfriend. Of course."

"Shows you actually _did_ love him then."

"What made you think I didn't?"

"You're the type of person who uses people, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not! I would never do something like that!"

"Don't deny it."

I let out a low growl. "Look, if you came over here to bitch at me, you can just go away right now. I'm not interested in what you have to say."

"Don't start anything with me, punk. I'll take you down in two seconds flat."

"I'm not trying to start anything."

"Lee was too good for you. He probably only went out with you because you're rich. Mind you, so am I!" He laughed. "Richer than you."

A dark haired girl grabbed Neji's arm. "Neji Nii-san. That's enough."

"Stay out of this, Hinata." He turned to me. "And if you expect any sympathy, you're not going to get any! This village hates your guts now, Gaara."

"G-Gomenasai..." I muttered.

"What's that?"

"Gomenasai."

"That's better."

As he walked away, tears welled up in my eyes. How embarrassing... Maybe Neji was right... Lee was too good for me.

"I-I'm sorry about Neji, G-Gaara." Said Hinata, the girl who stopped him from diminishing me any lower. "I-if there's anything-"

"I'm fine." I said in a monotone voice. I walked the rest of the way with my head down lower. Thankfully, nobody said anything more to me. There were people in black crowded around a grave and a coffin... with Lee inside. It comforted me to know he was in there, but it also broke my heart. I stood with the rest of the crowd, feeling unnervingly like an outcast, like I didn't belong. I couldn't bear to look up, so I occupied my gaze with the thick blades of grass below. Before I knew it, the coffin was picked up and slowly lowered into the ground. The lower it went, the more my heart broke. I fought back the sobs, refusing to cry in front of anybody, but I was slowly losing the hardest battle I ever had to endure. Some of Lee's friends went up to the grave and dropped in wreaths and roses. Lee didn't like wreaths and roses. He'd told me that they signify death rather than respect. Of course, I knew Lee's favourite flower was a daffodil. Its bright, sunny colour always brought a smile to his face.

"_It is a flower of Spring. The season of new life and youth." _He'd said to me one day. I had to agree.

Ignoring the staring eyes, I slowly walked up to the grave and dropped the daffodil in. Staring at his coffin, I let a single tear roll down my face, but wiped it away quickly before anybody could know.

_Goodbye, Lee..._

My body shook with grief. It all felt so final, like his death had now been tattooed all over my body; so every time I closed my eyes, the marks were there; clear as day. I walked back to everybody, who still held their mocking gazes on me. Why couldn't they just leave me be? I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. Soon, my mind drifted back to all the good times I'd had with Lee. If only they'd stayed that way...

_The rain started to beat down upon Lee and I; we were getting drenched. I already had a little cold coming along I didn't want the rain to make it even worse! I looked up at Lee and he smiled me my favourite smile and as a result, this warm feeling took me over and I was shivering no more. Suddenly, I started coughing and Lee looked at me, concerned. "Gaara-kun, are you sick?"_

"_I have a bit of a cold, but other than that, I'm fine, Lee. Don't worry about me."_

_He then took off his jacket and placed his over me. "You'll get worse if you don't dry off. You're already freezing to touch."_

"_Thanks, Lee." I snuggled into the warmth of the jacket. My dark-haired lover suddenly picked me up in his strong arms and planted a loving kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tilted my head so he had better access to two of the four most sensitive parts of my body: My neck and my jawline. He nuzzled at my chin and planted kisses down my neck, licking and sucking on the pale flesh. I moaned and buried my face into his shoulder as he nibbled along my jawline, earning himself a mewl._

"_I love you so much, Gaara. So much that I want to hold you forever and never let go."_

_That was so sweet. It melted my heart. "I love you more."  
"Nobody could ever love you like I do now."_

_I felt the same way about him. It hurt to be away from him for even a second. To think of life without him was too much to bear. "I couldn't live without you, Lee."_

"_Nor could I you, Gaara-kun. You are my angel."_

_I hugged him tight, feeling every breathtaking inch of his body, listening to each heartbeat, slowly and hypnotically as it came. He carried me through the rain, back to his house. The jacket kept me dry and his scent was my most favourite drug. I felt so happy, so alive when he was with me._

_**But of course,**_

_**You always come back to reality sooner or later...**_

_**Back to reality where your most dearest person is gone...**_

_**Forever.**_

Soil was dropped on the coffin as the grave was filled. I'd bitten a chunk out of my lip by how hard I was chewing it. I couldn't cry. Not in front of everybody. Never. I swallowed the blood, tasting the metallic liquid on my tongue. Deciding my lip received enough torture, I dug my nail into the back of my hand. Tears sprung up in my eyes as the grave was completely filled in. My hand started to bleed, just as my heart bled the day he died.

People started to depart the grave. I didn't notice. I just stood there, staring, waiting for everybody to leave so I could finally have a good cry. I thought everyone was gone, so I started to let the tears roll down my face. Why Lee? Why my one and only love? Did God want me to die of a broken heart? I rubbed my stomach making sure my little girl was okay. It was awful. I wondered how much pain she was going through. Bless her. I almost leapt out of my skin at the feeling of hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a pretty blue-eyed girl with platinum blonde hair tied into a ponytail standing behind me. Ino? She was the last person I would expect to see comforting me. We'd never spoken a word to each other in our lives. Why her? She moved closer to me. "Gaara... it's okay to cry in front of people, you know."

"Yeah for you it is, you're not the one suffering the loss of the only person who made you feel special."

"You know I'm always here to comfort you."

"Thank you Ino. But why now? We don't really speak, do we?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter. I just feel so bad for you. I know you struggle with love and when Lee died, my heart went out to you. Today, I could see you almost screaming in pain on the inside and trying to hold yourself together on the outside. You're hurting bad because of this, aren't you?"

"You can read me so easily."

"I guess." She smiled lightly.

"So, you knew Lee well?"

"Yeah. Remember when Lee really liked Sakura? He asked her out on numerous occasions, but she always refused him."

I nodded.

"It broke his heart. He was in tears all the time and one day, I saw him crying and went up to him. We got talking and he confided in everything to me. I helped him move on from her. A few months after, he told me that he was in love again with such a wonderful person. That person was you. He loved you so much, Gaara. More than you could ever know. He was willing to give anything for you."

I smiled a little, but tears filled my eyes. "I still love him now, with everything I've got. I need him. He meant so much to me."

She nodded and patted my shoulder.

This was so strange... I desperately wanted to tell her about my pregnancy; About everything! But no, a guy should never talk about emotion with a girl... Never.

We stood in silence for a few minutes, but my mind was all over the place. I was glad that I had somebody to support me, somebody I could just speak to without being judged. Of course I had Naruto, but he couldn't keep a secret from anybody. Also, his loud and obnoxious voice tended to give me a headache. Under all that though, I knew he meant well.

Ino suddenly hugged me tight and comfortingly. "I'm here for you, Gaara. Stop by and see me sometime. As a friend."

I nodded. "Thanks."  
"I'll leave now. Don't do anything stupid." She then walked away. I stared at Lee's grave and knelt beside it. It seemed so sad... People had just... left. As if Lee was going to be forgotten. Tears filled my eyes and I broke down, sobbing so hard and loud, screaming for him, having a breakdown. My heart hurt, everything burned. No words could describe my absolute grief. I just wanted him to come back! I wanted to be a proper family! Why did the bastard driver of the other car have to crash into us? Didn't they realize how much hurt they caused? The fucking dicks didn't own up! Who the hell did they think they were? My emotions were so confused! I didn't know if I should be sad, angry or feel nothing at all!

_I'd been dating Lee three days now. At first, I was nervous; Starting a relationship with another guy. but soon enough, I knew it was right. My father was fine with it and so was my sister, but my brother was a little... ashamed of me._

_I didn't care though; Lee made me happy and that's all that mattered. We sat in the park one day after school, talking. Despite it being winter, I was snuggled up to Lee and he kept me warm._

"_Here." He'd split his chocolate bar in two and gave me one half, whilst he had the other._

"_Thanks, Lee." I ate it slowly. It tasted great. "Where did you get this?"_

"_I got it from the convenience store." He told me and pulled me into his arms._

_At first, I froze a little; not quite sure how to react. I wasn't used to being held like that; Not by anybody. But soon, I started to like the feeling; It made my heart go all fluttery, it also warmed me to the bone. I finished the chocolate and lay my head on Lee's shoulder. He looked down at me and smiled, then leaned down close. I felt a little scared and closed my eyes, but opened them in shock when a pair of lips were pressed against mine. Subconsciously, I wrapped my arms round his neck and moved my lips with his; involuntarily letting out a moan. We pulled away, panting. My face felt heated._

_Really heated._

"_Gaara-kun, you are blushing." He said softly. "Did you like that?"_

"_Damn straight I did." I breathed as we delved into another kiss._

I awoke beside Lee's grave. Somebody was shaking me. "Gaara? Wake up." Came Temari's voice.

"Huhnn?" I groaned. I didn't even remember falling asleep.

"Come on, kiddo." My sister picked me up off the ground and carried me away. The air was cold and misty; normal weather for Spring.

Once we got back to the house, Temari sat me on the sofa and felt my forehead for a temperature. "You're lucky you didn't catch a cold in that weather! What the hell were you thinking? I was worried sick about you!" She ranted.

"I'm sorry."

"You will be sorry if you put me through that ever again!"

I stared at the floor.

She sighed. Well, anyway, how was the funeral?"

"It was sad... so final..."

"Did anyone say anything?"

"Ino spoke to me."  
"Who's Ino? That blonde chick who fawns over Sasuke?"

"Yeah, her. She's really nice actually."

"Do you even know her?"

"I do now. She told me about Lee. I feel a lot better now after talking to her."

"Really? Well I'm glad."

I smiled.

"So what did you talk about?"  
"She told me that she was here for me and we talked about Lee for a while. Stuff like that."

"That's nice."

"I'm going to take a shower." I said, getting up.

"Gaara,"

"What?"

"We're leaving on Sunday. Don't forget."

"Yeah." I actually liked it in Konoha and felt a little sad to leave. Lee's grave was there forever and that meant I couldn't visit him as often as I liked. It was already Saturday. Tomorrow was the final chance I had to properly say goodbye to Lee, but it felt like it wasn't enough. I just needed more time... More time to...

Get over him.

Of course, I knew that would be impossible... especially with Kaeda on the way.

Not like I ever did want to get over him, nor start a relationship with anybody else. The mere thought of that... it was sickening, But I knew that with time, the pain would ease off.

Eventually.

Sighing, I turned the shower on and stripped, but before stepping inside, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and worryingly enough, I realized that I didn't seem to be putting on any weight around my stomach. What if there was something wrong with my baby? Hopefully, she was fine...

Feeling depressed and nervous, I stepped into the shower, welcoming the warmth as the water hit me. I wasn't particularly doing anything but letting the liquid run down my body. I leant my forehead against the shower wall, zoning off into a different world.


	7. Enemies

**Chapter 7**

**Enemies**

Gaara POV

I left the house early the next morning. Temari was kind of shocked to see me out of bed before midday.

"What are you doing up?" She asked. "Did your bed catch fire?"

"No. I want to say goodbye to Lee."

"Oh. Alright then. Make sure you eat something before you go, alright?"

"You think I'd forget? I've been hungry all the time just lately!"

She rolled her eyes and went to pack.

I just walked into the kitchen and ate one of the bentos that she had prepared, knowing that she'd yell at me later for it. Once I'd finished eating, I went out onto the streets and looked around nervously in case anyone was going to talk to me. To my relief, nobody I recognised was out and I walked quietly down to the graveyard. On feeling a sudden presence behind me, I spun around, only to be met with the famous Hyuuga smirk.

"What do you want, Neji?" I asked the boy who stood before me.

"Good morning to you too, Gaara. How nice of us to bump into each other."

I glared, feeling the negativity radiating off of him in waves.

"So, where are you headed?"

"That is none of your business, Hyuuga."

"Resorting to addressing me informally now, are you? I know with your father being Kazekage and all, you feel all important, right? There is no need to act like such a brat in the presence of somebody like me, is there?" He ranted, keeping his voice calm, but patronizing. "And let me remind you that the Hyuuga are of higher importance than the Kazekage himself! It should be me acting all cocky now, shouldn't it? Speaking down to your superiors... you make me sick, Sabaku-san."

"Then why don't you fuck off?" I muttered.

"What was that? Are you challenging me?"

I kept silent.

"Gone quiet now have you? Are you scared of me?"

"No I'm not."

"Then prove it." He growled. "Byakugan!"

Shit this was bad. There was no way I could defeat him now. He struck me hard across the face and I stumbled a little.

"Are you going to fight back, you pussy?"

As much as I wanted the smash his obnoxious face in... I couldn't... not with Kaeda. There was a chance she could get hurt.

"I'd better teach you some manners after the way you spoke to me today." He grabbed my throat and lifted me up against the wall. It was hard to breathe, but I tried not to show it. "That all you got?" I asked him.

"You like pain? Do you like it when I punch you? Feels good?" He raised his fist again and paused just as he was about to punch me; then his eyes drifted down to my stomach. "What's that?" He asked. "A-Are you pregnant?"

"N-No I'm not!"

"I can see another small chakra inside you!" He grabbed my wrist and pushed me against a wall hard.

"Stop fucking looking!"

"So it is true." He smirked. "That's pretty messed you know. Male pregnancy. It has only happened five times in this country and that's over thousands and thousands of years. The last recorded case was a year before you were born."

"Are you done lecturing me?" I hissed, trying to walk away, but he held me in place.

"The baby is Lee's isn't it? He fucked you."

I blushed. "Please! Let me go!"

"Well well well. Looks like the son of the Kazekage is pregnant by my ex boyfriend."

I stared at him. "Ex boyfriend? You went out with Lee?"

"Of course." He leant down close to me. "Are you jealous Sabaku-san?"

"No because I knew that Lee loved me."

"Did he?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who would love a Jinchuuriki?" He tightened his grip on my wrist.

"Ow! Stop that! It hurts!" I struggled and tried to push him away, but he got my other arm too and twisted it round. I refused to cry out in pain, no matter how much it hurt. He'd really pissed me off now... so much that I could feel Shukaku slowly stirring from the depths of my mind.

"Get away from him!" Yelled an angry female voice.

Neji turned and dodged a punch from my sister. Temari stood in front of me protectively.

"Lay one finger on him again," She growled. "And you're _dead_."

"Go back home, princess. Let me teach your little brother a lesson."  
"Leave him the fuck alone!" She turned a little to speak to me. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah... just a little shaken."

Neji snorted. "You know what? I don't want to waste my energy on you pathetic brats. It will make a mockery of me. I'm out." With that, he turned on his heel and strutted away, not failing to give me a final glare.

Temari turned round fully to face me. "Did he hurt you?"

"I don't think so."

"You're bleeding."

"Where?"

"On your lip."

I wiped it away with the back of my hand. It made a little crimson streak down my wrist.

"I don't want you walking alone here, okay? What if he comes back?"

"Yeah whatever. I'm fine."

"We're leaving right now."

"What?"

"That's right! Just wait until father hears about this..."

I sighed and followed her back to the house where she got our belongings together.

"Gaara, where's that bento I made this morning?"

"Um... I ate it."

"That was supposed to be eaten tonight!"

"W-Well I was hungry..."

"There's stuff in the cupboards, baka!"

"Sorry."

She rolled her eyes. "Gaara you will never learn will you?"

"Learn what?"

"Nothing."

"Well if your going to teach me something, you might as well tell me what the fuck I'm meant to learn. Don't you think?"

"Gaara, don't swear!"

"Okay, I won't ever fucking swear again."

Temari sighed at me.

I shook my head. What was wrong with me? Why did I just snap at her like that? Was it because my hormones were all over the place? Great. Now I felt like crying. "I-I'm sorry Temari. I didn't mean to yell like that. I don't know w-why I'm acting like this."

She hugged me. "It's okay bro. You're tired. We'll get going now and you can have a nice sleep in the car, yeah?"

"Yeah." I wasn't looking forward to leaving. It took about half a day to get to Suna and I hated travelling. Usually, the travelling lasted about two hours, but since I'm pregnant it would take a lot longer as we'd have to stop to eat and stuff.

3

As night fell, the journey in the car became hell. I just felt so tired and sad and kept crying for no reason; mainly because of the incident I had with Neji. But the thing that hurt the most was that I missed Lee so much and never could I know that losing someone would hurt so intensely as this. Letting out a sigh, my eyes drifted to the window and I leant my head against the icy class. Rain was hammering down. Typical Konohagakure weather. Maybe being back home would make me feel better.

I remembered that the first time I stayed at Lee's house in Konoha, I was freezing. Being so used to the heat, the weather in this new place had shocked me. Lee could see I was cold and we cuddled up together with a blanket. Those memories now were so precious because I knew that we could never make any more together ever again.

I just never thought I'd need anybody so much, He was my everything. When we were apart, My life didn't even feel complete and I would count the days until I got to see him again. It made me wonder if the person who was driving the other car that smashed into ours feels any remorse. Did they know that they'd killed somebody?Why did they take my Lee away from me? Now he was gone, I really wished I could just hear him say those words that made my day.

"_Aishiteruze, Gaara-kun."_

Before I knew it, I'd fallen into a dreamless sleep that was soon interrupted by Temari.

"Gaara... we're back." She said, lifting me out of the car. I was carried into the house and set on the sofa. My father came into the lounge.

"Made it back alright? How are you both?"

Temari sighed and explained about the Neji incident.

"There's no point in charging him for this. He's a Hyuuga." I told my father.

"I don't care! Nobody treats my kids like that!"

"At least nobody got hurt."

"That's not the point, Gaara! He could've done anything to you!"

"And you think that I wouldn't have fought back?"

"You just told me that you were scared in case Kaeda got hurt!"

"Yeah, but if he really started to hurt me, I would've hit him."

My father sighed and ruffled my hair. "As long as you're alright."

"Didn't I already say that?" I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"Um... I'll get myself something." I knew how bad his cooking was. The last thing I needed was food poisoning.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded and got up, then searched the kitchen for any food that Kankuro hadn't already eaten.

Ramen, Ramen, Ramen and guess what? More Ramen.

In the end, I just settled for some Teriyaki noodles. Oh actually, I'd forgotten how to cook them. Great. Fucking great. Not like the instructions were any help either.

"Here, let me help you." Temari was stood behind me.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Just sit down in the lounge and I'll shout you when they're ready." She told me, starting to fry the noodles.

I nodded and left the kitchen, then went to join my father in the lounge. I felt so tired and hungry. Hopefully, the pregnancy would be over soon. Women on TV always tell people how 'beautiful' pregnancy is. What's so great about being hungry all the time, having hormonal rants and needing to pee every five minutes? The only good thing about it was the child you got at the end. The thing that worried me was that I had only gained very little weight. Well, I guess it's better than gaining none at all. The pregnancy hurt as well. In the past few hours I had a bit of cramping in my low abdomen which was probably normal. The cramps were quite painful and I couldn't concentrate on the TV or anything.

"Can I take some painkillers?" I asked my father.

"Why, what's wrong?" He replied.

"Stomach cramps."

"Is the baby okay?"

"I think she's fine."

"Well you never take painkillers so I'm guessing it hurts quite bad?"

"N-Not yet, it's just annoying..."

"Is the baby okay?"

"I don't know... I'll ask Shukaku."

**What is it, brat? Pregnancy giving you a hard time?"**

"_**Shut it. I just came to ask if Kaeda is alright."**_

"**I don't see what you are concerned about. Your daughter is fine."**

"_**Well why am I getting pains?"**_

"**Why do you think, baka? Males weren't made to carry children and your body is trying to adjust to it! Now do you realize why I made you carry the baby instead?"**

"_**So you could see me suffer."**_

"**Haha! Aren't I the sadistic one? I enjoy your pain."**

"_**I'm out. See you later Shukaku."**_

"**Already?"**

I ignored the demon and came back to reality.

"Gaara! Are you fucking deaf? I told you that heavy metal crap you listen to had it's fucking consequences!" Kankuro practically screamed down my ear.

"And didn't I fucking tell you that listening to Kankuro's venomous trap he calls a mouth damages your eardums? Especially after talking to your fucking Bijuu!"

My brother smacked me across the face for that. "You have a mouth like a fucking trashcan!"

"Like you're the one to talk!" I retorted, punching him in the stomach.

Kankuro practically leapt on me and we had one of our fights; which usually included a lot of punching, slapping, kicking and biting. Not to mention rolling around on the floor and swearing at each other. If it got really bad, we'd usually end up bleeding heavily and nursing broken bones for a few weeks. I pushed him into a wall and in turn, he kicked me insanely hard between the legs, making me cry out in pain.

"That fucking hurt, you asshole!"

"Good! How about I decorate my fist with your fucking teeth?"

"I'd like to see you try it!" And we were off again, this time, practically kicking each other to death. "Now I can park my foot up your ass!" Threatened Kankuro. "Actually, on second thoughts, a faggot like you would probably get some kind of sick pleasure from it!"  
"As fucking if!"

"Getting lonely now no-ones shoving their cock up your ass?"

I felt tears in my eyes. To mention it, what he just said was really hurtful. "Shut up!"

"Or what, faggot? You gonna cry to daddy?"

"Please stop it! What do you have against me?"

"Uh, let's see... You let that little gay boyfriend fuck you-"

"Don't you _dare_ talk about Lee like that! You didn't even know him!"

"I knew he was a bad choice for you Gaara."

"He meant the world to me!"

I heard someone come in and then Temari's laughing. "Come on, Gaara! Punch him!" She cheered.

"Temari, don't you encourage them! Okay guys, break it up, break it up!" I heard father say. He had to jump in between us, earning a few accidental punches in the process.

"Faggot!" Kankuro screamed at me.

"Bastard!" I shouted back.

"Hey, hey! That's enough, both of you!" He yelled.

"You busted my fucking lip, you little shit!"

"Yeah, you can go whining about it! Now look who's bleeding?"

"Kankuro! Gaara! That is enough!"

We both shut up, but that didn't stop us glaring daggers at each other.

"I don't what's gotten into you two, but you're driving me insane! Just go and sort out whatever is bugging you. I don't want to see any more fighting! Understand?"

Kankuro nodded.

"Gaara?"

"I need some air." I growled, storming out of the house.

"Get back here!"

"No!" I retorted, slamming the door. The night air in Suna was always cold; just how I liked it. It's a wonder my anger didn't stir Shukaku; especially on a full moon like tonight. Kankuro got lucky this time, but who cared if I was gay? Why couldn't my brother, of all people just accept me for who I am? Was he ashamed of me? We used to be the best of friends and he always looked out for me; but ever since I started dating Lee, he seemed to suddenly turn cold and distant... like he no longer wanted to know me... Like he had...

Disowned me.


	8. First scan

**Chapter 8**

**First Scan**

"And where the hell have you been all night?" Demanded my father as I walked through the door.

"Out." I replied bluntly, walking past him.

He grabbed my arm.

"Hey!"

"You're pregnant, Gaara! You can't go wandering off into the night like that! Do you realize how worried I was? I've been searching the streets ever since you left!"

"I'm sorry, father."

"Where have you been?"

"I was in the forest on the border and I fell asleep in a tree. I woke up and decided to come back."

"Decided to come back? Decided?"

"Yes."

"You are an idiot! How dare you walk out like that! You need to apologize to Kankuro and stop being such a brat!"

"Go fuck yourself." I growled under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Good, now get upstairs and apologize to your brother!"

"No."

"Don't you dare argue with me!"

"I already am arguing with you, _father._"

"How dare you speak to me like that!"

"How dare I?"

"Do you want me to drag you upstairs by your throat?"

"I don't care."

"This isn't like you, Gaara! You're a good kid, now start acting like one!"

"No. I have my own opinions and choices. You can't make me do anything."

"If you expect to live under my roof, you live by my rules."  
"If I expect? Are you trying to make me leave?"

"Of course I'm not!"

"That's what you're implying! I can leave if you want me to!"

"Don't you dare leave! I just want you to apologize to your brother!"

"Apologize? Why should I?"

"Why should you? Do you realize that you've broken his rib?"

"I'm sure he'll survive. I broke all my ribs on the right side of my body and I'm still breathing."

"That's not the point! _You_ hurt him!

"Yeah, and he hurt _me _last night by what he said. He really hurt me."

"You physically injured him!

"A physical wound means nothing!" I yelled, running upstairs. In my room, I locked the door and collapsed in a flood of tears against it.

3

I didn't want to come out that morning. Not after everything that had happened: Dad had a go at me, Temari had a go at me and Kankuro was just being his usual self: A prick. No one cared about me. Only Lee did. That was one of the main reasons why he was so special. But no, he had to die, didn't he? He had to die because some stupid fucker on the road didn't know how to drive. Thanks to them, Lee couldn't ever come back. Thanks to them, he'd never get to see his little girl grow up.

Temari was calling my name, but I just ignored her. A few minutes later, there was a bang at my bedroom door.

"Gaara, open up!"

"Are you going to shout at me even more?"

She sighed. "No, Gaara. I'm not."

"Good."

"Why are you upset? Is it from the fight?"

"Yes. Kankuro called Lee and said some stuff."

"Let me in and we'll talk about it."

"Temari, just leave him. He's got to come out sooner or later." Kankuro said from behind the door. Just hearing his voice made my blood boil.

"You can shut the fuck up, Kankuro!"

"Say that again brat and I'll break your door down and fucking batter you!"

"Your 'broken rib' can't be that bad then if you're still making ridiculous threats!"

I heard my door crash open and Kankuro had me up against the wall. "You fucking fag!" He hissed, raising his hand to slap me.

Temari shoved him hard. "Knock it off!" She then glared at me. "Both of you!"

"What the fuck did I do?" I asked irritably.

"Gaara! I swear to God if you don't shut up-"

"What the hell is going on here?" My father rushed in and swiped Kankuro's hand away, making him him drop me on the floor. "Temari, leave. I need to have a word with your brothers."

My sister nodded and left the room.

"Will you two stop fighting? It's driving me insane!" Father yelled. He turned to Kankuro. "You should know better than this, Kankuro, so don't you dare hurt your little brother! He's pregnant!"

"So fucking what?"

"If that baby dies inside of him, he will die too. Do you not realize that?"

He shook his head guiltily.

"I don't want to see you trying to hit him like that again! Do I make myself clear?"

"Hai."

"Apologize."

My older brother sighed. "Sorry, Gaara."

Father glared at me. "And as for you, I am furious that you'd provoke your brother in his current condition! Don't let it happen again, understand?"

"Hai."

"Apologize."

"Sorry Kankuro."

"Any more fighting, and I'll ground you both." He left the room and so did Kankuro. I was glad. I got up and sat on my bed, then felt my stomach. It was still hard and uncomfortable to touch, but I was glad to know my little girl was still alive inside of me. Shukaku would've said something if anything bad had happened. "I love you." I mumbled to her. "You and me will have a great life together, I promise."

3

Since I was now over a month pregnant, I was due to have my first ultrasound. Looked like I was visiting the hospital again. I hated going; it drove me mental. All of these tests just to check on one human! God, I could do that at home since it would save driving. The worst thing was, the hospital I was appointed at was the hospital Lee died in so I always got awful flashbacks hitting me whenever I walked in that place. At least Temari would be there to stand by me. She was looking forward to being an auntie, I could tell. I got in the car, shuddering. The accident was last month now and cars still scared me. I was too drugged up on painkillers last time I went in a car to even acknowledge what was happening.

"Are you okay?" Asked my sister.

"Yeah. Just drive really careful, okay?"

"Gaara, I've been driving for three years now. Don't get so worried." She reached over and ruffled my hair.

"Ahh! Don't take your hand off the wheel! Put it back on!"

"Gaara, calm down, honey." She said soothingly.

I smirked. "Sorry."  
"Don't be. If that happened to me, I'd be a nervous wreck too."

"I'm not a nervous wreck! Not yet anyway..."

Temari smiled.

I suddenly felt sick. "Pull over."  
She nodded and swerved the car to the side of the road. I immediately jumped out and threw up in some nearby bushes. Temari came up behind me and rubbed my back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"We'd better get out of here quick."

"Why?"

"Nobody is meant to be on here. You just threw up on a protected nature sight."

"Oops."

"Come on. In the car quick."  
"Well, you're the one who pulled over here." I said defensively, getting in the car.

"Yeah, 'cause Dad would kill us both if you did it in the car."

"I guess."

She quickly drove away.

We got to the hospital five minutes later. The waiting room was full of pregnant women and their husbands. It made me feel a little embarrassed. They stared at Temari, obviously thinking she was the pregnant one. Their faces dropped when we signed in at reception.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Asked the receptionist.

"My brother is here for his first pregnancy ultrasound."

"B-Brother? Is this a joke?" She spluttered, staring at us.

"You really think I'd joke about this? Check your files if you don't believe us." I said in a monotone voice. I was sick of her looking at me as if I was a freak. Who cared if I was? Soon, I'd be a parent.

"All right. I need to check your details before you can proceed any further."

"Go ahead."

"Surname?"

"Sabaku."

"First name?"

"Gaara."

"Age?"

"Fifteen."

"Date of birth?"

"January the nineteenth."

"R-Right. Now that's confirmed... Just go take a seat down there."

"Thanks." I said, following Temari. We sat at the back under the gaze of every single person in the room. "You all ought to take a picture, it lasts longer!" I said rather loudly. Everyone immediately dropped their gazes, looking extremely embarrassed. Temari looked up from the leaflet she was reading and snickered. "Nice one."

"Thanks." I replied.

Five minutes later, Tsunade came in. "Gaara-san. Come on."

I got up, feeling nervous and followed her down the corridor, praying that there was nothing wrong with my daughter.

"In here." She opened the door and I went in, followed by Temari.

"Is it okay if I stay with him?" Asked my sister.

"Yes, that's fine. Just take a seat over there." Tsunade turned to me. "You need to take your shirt off."

I obeyed and passed my top to Temari.

"Lay down on there."

Sighing, I got up on the bed... or whatever it was and lay back.

"This is going to be cold." She said, squeezing some transparent gel onto my stomach.

I flinched a little.

Tsunade ran this scanner over the gel to spread it over my abdomen. "How are you feeling anyway?" She asked.

"I'm fine. Just morning sickness and stuff like that."

She smirked. "Don't worry. Morning sickness only usually lasts up until the first trimester."

"Good." I looked up at the screen next to me. It was a blur of black and white at first. I could make out a few of my organs.

Tsunade pointed to the screen at a black mass with a tiny shape in the middle.

"Can you see her?"

"Y-Yeah. That's her?"

"Yes."

I suddenly felt so happy and amazed that she was growing inside me and that I could actually see her...

"You are currently eight weeks pregnant, so that means you probably conceived at around February..." Tsunade said to me.

"Is she alright?"

"Yes, she's growing perfectly and even moving a little bit. There's nothing to worry about. You need a check-up every month to make sure she's developing properly. As she grows, it's going to hurt a bit as she'll take up a lot room in your body and squash some of your organs so you'll need plenty of rest."

I nodded.

"Also, you're hunger will probably expand out of control. Make sure you eat little and often, understand? You need to drink plenty of fluid to keep hydrated too."

"Okay."

"Alright. Do you have any questions?"

"About the labour... yes... I'm just really frightened about it."

"Once you reach your third trimester, I'll arrange with your family for somebody to be with you in the house constantly. That way, if you go into labour, they will get help really fast."

"What about giving birth?"

"There are two things that could happen. The first one being cesarean and the other being if your Bijuu creates some sort of opening where you can push the baby out."

I hated the sound of both ideas.

"Anything else you want to ask?"

"No thanks."

"Right, you may go now. Your next appointment will be this date, next month, got it?"

"Yeah and thanks." I got up and put my shirt back on, then followed my sister out of the room.

3 

The next morning, I got up at about five and got ready quietly. I was going to school today and nobody could do a thing about it. Unfortunately, I dropped a glass on the floor and it broke, waking my father up. He rushed downstairs, looking panicked. "What the hell are you doing at this time in the morning?" He yelled, then noticed my uniform. "You are not going to school!"

"And what good will I ever be? A single, teenage parent with no money, no job and no qualifications! How am I supposed to provide for my child and myself?"

"I can give you the money!"

"And that's supposed to make everything better is it? Having a rich father means nothing to me. I'd rather work for my money than have it all handed to me on a plate!"

"What if you pass out again?"

"Yeah, so what? It didn't kill me did it?"

"Morning sickness?"

"I'll be fine as long as I don't eat anything before I leave!"

"And what about needing to pee every five minutes?"

"That's why you're going to write me a note." I handed him a piece of paper an a pen.

"I'm not going to write you a note!"

I sighed. "Why the hell not?"

"Because you're not going to school!"

"Whatever." I started to leave, but he gently took my wrist.

"Gaara, please listen to me. I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but I didn't raise you to disobey me."

He was right. I was acting completely out of order. "I'm sorry father." These mood swings were really starting to get to me.

He sighed. "I'm only looking out for you."

"I know, father... I'm really sorry."

"Let's just calm down for a minute, huh? Think things over."

I nodded.

He picked up the phone. "How about I arrange somebody to come to the house to teach you?"

I smiled. "Hey that's not a bad idea."

"Go upstairs and get changed out of your uniform alright? I'll phone up somewhere and arrange a tutor. How does that sound?"

"Great, thanks dad!" I went back upstairs and changed into a baggy black shirt and jeans. As I was getting dressed, I noticed that my body was shaped a bit like a woman's... I had a little bit of a curve at my waist! Was this normal? Once dressed, I went back down to the lounge and sat on the sofa next to my dad. "Did you get me a tutor?"

"Not yet. Nobody answered when I phoned so I'll call them back tomorrow. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Want me to make you something to eat?"

"Sure."

"What do you want?"

"Food." I replied.

"Yeah, what kind of food?" He asked irritably, obviously not understanding my sense of humor.

"Umm... I dunno. A bagel?"

"I don't buy bagels. Do you want pancakes?"

"Please." I suddenly had a craving for bagels... nothing in them... just the bread. God I was weird.

I loved pancakes though. Lee and I used to make them all the time but I couldn't compare to his home-made ones. He was just stupendous at making them. He used to cover them in golden syrup, then two scoops of vanilla ice cream for a side dish. Our daughter would have adored them; I knew it. But that could only be a fantasy now... "Lee, I miss you." I said out loud.

I sighed, remembering how much fun we had.

"_Gaara-kun, you have syrup on your face!" Lee pointed out. _

_I smirked and looked right into his warm, charcoal orbs. "Then come and lick it off, bad boy."_

_It was a rainy Saturday afternoon and what a better way to spend it than to brighten up the dreary day by making pancakes? Of course I knew Lee was the absolute master at making them, but I could at least give it a go couldn't I? Even if they did burn._

_Lee grinned. "If you insist..." He leaned over and ran his warm, wet tongue over the syrup on my cheek, causing me to giggle. "Mmm... Sweet... Just like you..." His mouth then moved down and his lips pressed against mine. I kissed him back, leaning against the counter top. My leg lifted up and wrapped around his waist and I moaned as he pushed his tongue into my mouth,leaning further back. Lee kissed my my neck and bit down a little, then sucking the bruised area. I let out a mewl at the pleasure it brought, but then the smell of burning filled our noses and we pulled away suddenly._

"_Shit! The Pancakes!" Lee rushed to the stove and took the frying pain off the heat._

"_Did they burn?" I asked, walking over to him._

_He smiled and shook his head. "Almost... looks like I got them off of the stove just in time."_

"_They smell great."_

"_Thanks." He plated them up and we sat at the table. "Let's eat."_

Once my dad gave me the pancakes, I started to eat them and they were nice, but they tasted nothing like Lee's. I don't think anybodies could ever compare to them. Just as I finished eating, the front door opened and Naruto walked straight in. "Mornin' Non-Believer!" He greeted cheerfully to my father, who just rolled his eyes in return.

The blond was dressed in our school uniform: A white button-up shirt, a black tie and black pants. Boring and depressing, I know. He had his bright orange rucksack slung carelessly over one shoulder which always made me smirk because he just ignored the countless orders from teachers to get a 'normal' coloured schoolbag. Like I could say much - mine was red.

"Morning Naruto. Ever heard of knocking?" I said to my friend as he lazily flopped down on the sofa next to me.

He just grinned and rubbed the back of his head. "Heh... I keep forgetting don't I?"

"Yes you do. You're lucky my father still tolerates it."

He nervously glanced at my dad who was cleaning up the kitchen and then looked back at me, sighing."Anyways, why aren't you ready for school yet?"

"I'm staying off for a while." I replied.

Naruto looked at me a little confused. "We have exams Gaara. You can't stay off... and besides, who's answers can I copy now if you won't be there?"

"Look at Sakura's. She's smart enough." How I hated that bitch. She always called me names to look cool in front of Sasuke. Fortunately, he barely batted an eyelid when she spoke to him.

"Sakura doesn't even sit near me! Anyway, she'll clobber me for it."

"True."

"So why aren't you coming to school?"

"I'm sick."

"Well you look fine to me."

"It's a stomach bug."

"You shouldn't be eating if you have a stomach bug, Gaara..." He said, gesturing over to my now empty plate.

"My dad said it might make me feel a little better." I suddenly felt nauseous and ran into the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet.

"You know what, Gaara?" Came my fathers voice from the kitchen. "I don't know why I bother feeding you if you're just going to do that straight after."

I finished vomiting and groaned slightly in pain. "Oh, well I apologize for being hungry! I do have two people to feed now, you know!"

"Two people?" Asked Naruto curiously, staring at me.

Shit.

I really had to think before I spoke sometimes. "What is this?" I hissed. "Is it fun to watch me puke my guts out?"

"No Gaara, I'm just concerned about you."

I sighed and got up, then flushed the toilet. "Sorry..."

"Hey, it's fine." He said. "So what did you mean by feeding 'two people'?"

"I-I can't say..." I replied sadly, looking at the floor.

"C'mon... We're best friends... You can tell me anything."

I bit my lip, thinking for a moment. "Come over after school tonight and I'll tell you."

"Why not now?"

"Because you'll be late for school if you don't get a move on."

"You're way more important to me than school."

"Naruto, I need some time to think about what to say..."

"Alright, fine." He pouted. "See you later then."

"Bye."


	9. Truth behind it all

Chapter 9

Truth Behind it All

Like I expected, after school, Naruto came round. I let him in and we both went upstairs. My room was fairly large compared to the average one. My bed had it's right side pushed up against the wall and lay in the far corner of the room, bearing black blankets with a grey duvet rolled up at the foot. I kept it there in case I got cold during the night. On the left hand side of my bed was the window. Out of it, you could see across the city and right out into the desert. At sunrise, the view was beautiful. Across from the window was a large wooden desk on which my laptop and stationary resided. I didn't have much stationary because I'd never been creative. I was quite good at writing – having good grades in English; though my art was terrible. I couldn't even draw a stick figure without it going wrong. The floor in my room was smooth laminate and there were no rugs in there - for the simple reason that my sister slipped on a rug I used to have in there a few years ago and broke her arm. My father told me to get rid of it after that. The walls in my room weren't anything special. They were a steely-grey colour and the window-sills were painted white. I had many posters up of bands that I liked and a few photographs – mainly of Lee and myself together. They were pinned onto some foam board I had on my door. Them photographs were the only mementos I had left of Lee. All of his belongings were given to charities. I knew that was probably what he would have wanted with him being so generous, but I wanted to keep something of his... at least a shirt – just to remember what he smelled like, just to recall those memories of when we used to go out shopping, or to the park, the swimming pool... It only seemed yesterday that we fell in love. He was taken from me so quickly and I still had so much to tell him – I wanted us to raise our little girl together. Our little Kaeda was deprived of her own father due to some inconsiderate fucker on the road.

"Wow." Said my blonde friend in awe, snapping me out of my thoughts. "It's always so clean and tidy in here... how can you be bothered to do something so boring and tedious as cleaning, dattebayo?" He dumped his bag on the floor and seated himself on my bed.

I sighed. "Because I don't want my room to look like somebody threw a bomb in it. Take Kankuro's room for example. There's not a day that goes by when I don't start heaving from the stench every time I walk past it. It smells like something died in there. I don't know what though, probably his friends since he never seems to have any."

"I heard that, you little snot!" Yelled Kankuro's voice from his bedroom.

"Lose some weight, you fat bastard!" I yelled back.

"Language!" Scolded our father from downstairs.

Kankuro wasn't really fat... he just ate a lot and wore baggy clothes that made him look overweight. Maybe he was fat. I really didn't know.

"So, are you going to tell me?" Naruto pried on.  
"Tell you what?" I asked a little absent-mindedly.

"Only the reason I came here after school in the first place, baka."

"Oh... that."

"Duh."

"So you came over not because you wanted to see me, but because you wanted to be a nosy bastard?" I questioned him jokingly.

He pouted and patted my back. "Oh Gaara, of course I wanted to see you."

"Thanks."

"So... tell me?"

I sighed. Could I really tell him about it? Could I trust him? Of course he was my closest friend now that Lee was gone. I suddenly realized that I really had to learn to trust people, or I'd end up alone and miserable for the rest of my life.

"Gaara, come on." Naruto placed his arm around my shoulders comfortingly. "You can tell me anything." He scooted closer to me.

"Swear you won't tell?"  
"I swear on my life."

"Swear on ramen?"

He chuckled. "Yes, I swear on ramen."

I bit my lip. "First of all, your Bijuu... can he do weird things to your body? Like mess up your organs and stuff?"  
Naruto nodded. "Yeah he can, dattebayo."

"Can he grow you any organ in the world?"

"I've never been in that kind of situation before, but I guess so. Why you ask?"

"He grew me an organ..."

"What kind of organ?"

I blushed and took a deep breath. "A womb."

He stayed silent for a few seconds. "A womb? Like a womb where ladies can carry children?"  
"Oh, well no shit!" I snapped.

"Sorry. But what has a womb got to do with... this?"

"Shukaku created the womb whilst Lee was... you know..." I blushed darker and looked at the floor.

"Whilst Lee was what?"  
Friends could be spectacularly dumb sometimes. Especially Naruto. "Whilst Lee was fucking me up the ass! Jeez, do I have to spell it out for you?"

Naruto blushed: Oh...Oh right... Sorry..."

There was an awkward silence.

"So what has sex got to do with this?" Naruto asked after a few minutes.

I sighed. "Think about it. A womb that was created during sex. Ring any bells?"

"Are... are you saying that y-you're _pregnant_?"

"Oh well done! Well done Naruto!" I exclaimed in an exaggerated way, clapping sarcastically.

He stared at me, shocked. "Then prove it, dattebayo!"

"Okay..." I said. "Come here and feel my stomach."

Naruto cautiously shifted on my bed and sat in front of me, looking into my eyes the whole time. I gently took his hand and placed it on my abdomen. "There. Can you feel?"

He nodded. "Wait... are... are you sure you're not just fat?"

I glared and shoved him off my bed. He landed on his backside and winced. "Ow!" He grumbled, scrambling to his feet.

"I am not fat! That bump you feel there is called a baby! If it was fat, it would be soft! Does that feel soft to you?"

"No, it felt hard."

"Exactly!"

"Well... you should take a test, just to be sure."

I scowled. "I had a scan yesterday!"

"Really? Is the baby a boy or girl?"

"Girl."

"That's... kind of cool... my best friend is pregnant dattebayo..."

I blushed.

"Any names in mind?" He asked with a grin.

"Her name is going to be Kaeda... Lee told me he liked that name..." I said with a sad smile. "I miss him."

Naruto hugged me. "I miss him too. He was such a great friend... nobody can ever replace him."

I nodded, letting a tear roll down my face. "He meant the entire world to me."

My best friend patted my back comfortingly. "Hey, he'll always be in your heart, right? You have photographs of him and those wonderful memories in your head... You must also remember that he'll always live on inside little Kaeda."

I smiled. "You're right... thanks."

He smiled and let me go. "Don't worry about it. So how was the scan yesterday?"

"It was great, I spoke to Tsunade about everything and she explained a load of stuff to me. I got to see Kaeda growing inside me and it felt amazing... she's so cute..."

Naruto smiled happily. "So, do you have any photos of the scan?

I got up and took some photos out of my jacket pocket, then handed them to Naruto. "Here."

Naruto stared at them. "She's so tiny..." He whispered, tracing her outline with his index finger. I smiled and sat down beside him, also staring at the photo. I couldn't wait until she was born, until I could finally hold her in my arms. I suddenly felt my stomach cramping up again and winced.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, panicking.

"I'm just getting cramps again."  
"Shit! You're in labour!"

"No I am not! Shut it!"

"Non-Believer!" He screamed, rushing out of my room and darting down the stairs. "Gaara's in labour dattebayo!"

I rolled my eyes, chasing after him. "Naruto you idiot, come back here!" Great, now he would worry everybody in the house. As soon as I left my room, I smacked right into Kankuro.

"Gaara, you're in labour?" He asked worriedly.

"No, Kankuro, I'm fine..." I replied.

"Making up stories again, you little shit?" He sneered.

"Why would I fucking want to do that?"

"Because you're an annoying little brat." He retorted, skulking back into his room.

My father rushed up the stairs moments later, a panicked look on his face. "You're only two months gone, Gaara!"

"No, dad, it's fine – Naruto just got confused." I told him.

"You're alright then?"

I nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

He turned to my friend and scowled. "Don't scare me like that again, Naruto!"

Naruto laughed awkwardly. "Sorry Non-Believer."

I glared at him once my father had left the room.  
"What? I was just worried." He said sheepishly.

"You really think that I'd go into labour after two months?"

"Well, that would be quite worrying..."

I sighed. "Exactly."

"How long are you pregnant for?"  
"Nine months I think. Might be different for me though since I'm male... and a teenager." I replied. If anything, it would be a shorter pregnancy I would imagine. Naruto lay back on my bed with a content smile on his face. I smiled and lay down next to him, enjoying his company. It had been such a long time since he had been friendly to anybody. I really appreciated Naruto being there for me – this was a time when I really needed somebody. Knowing that, I fell into a peaceful slumber.

3

A quiet conversation somewhere in my room awoke me. I opened my eyes, guessing that I had slept for a long time as it was so dark outside. The moon had already risen and the air had become cold. I sat up, realizing that Naruto was no longer laying next to me.

"Gaara." A familiar voice spoke.

I turned to be faced with nothing but darkness. "Huh? Naruto?" The blankets slid from my body as I shifted forward. A shadow was visible in the moonlight and then, it was gone. The darkness engulfed me and my whole body went numb. Suddenly, something was shaking me quite violently. The voices got louder and louder before I sat up quickly, light flooding the room. Naruto was holding me. "Gaara..."

"Huh? Let go of me." I grumbled, squirming out of his grip. "What happened?"

"You started acting weird and fainted. So I caught you."

"Oh, thanks... sorry, it happens a lot."

"Don't worry. Temari said dinner is ready by the way." He helped me slowly to my feet so I didn't pass out again and we went downstairs. Kankuro was sitting at the table, eating happily. I sat opposite him and Naruto took a seat beside me. Temari handed us our plates. I could feel Kankuro glaring at me, but I didn't care.

"Hey, where's Non-Believer?" Naruto asked with a mouthful of beef. Temari rolled her eyes at his terrible table manners and sat opposite him, shaking her head. "He got called in at the office to sign some urgent papers. He won't be back until the early hours of the morning." She replied.

I started to eat my dinner, not realizing how hungry I was. Kankuro kicked me in the leg, causing me to glare at him. "What do you want?" I mimed.

"Fag." He mimed back, kicking me again.

Temari looked at us both. "Cut it out you two!"

We both averted eye contact and ate in silence for the rest of the meal. After I finished, I picked up everybody's plates and started to wash up. Once that was done, everybody went into the lounge to watch TV. I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen until I heard my siblings go to bed. When I had no more cleaning to do, I felt empty for some reason, then started thinking about all the bad things that had happened to me, then emotions just built up inside me. I started thinking about my family, wondering what they really thought of me. Why was Kankuro so horrible to me? What did I ever do to make him hate me? We had always been so close from a young age... It made me wonder if I'd have died in the car accident, would he have cared? Did he love me at all? A few tears fell from my eyes and I wiped them away quickly, not wanting anybody to see my cry. Unfortunately, more came and before I knew it, I was on the floor, sobbing. I didn't know why I was crying, it could've been pregnancy hormones, or maybe just everything coming back to me, reminding me of my pain. I just couldn't take it anymore. My heart still ached painfully for Lee and I knew he wasn't ever going to come back, no matter how much I begged, cried and screamed, I would never see him again.

As I sobbed, comforting arms wrapped around me.

"Hey Gaara... calm down..." Came Naruto's voice. "Ssh... stop crying... Lee wouldn't want this..."

The sobs came louder and I hugged Naruto tight, burying my face in his shoulder. I didn't want to stop crying. I had been holding my emotions back, I had been strong for too long and I was sick of it. Since Lee died, I hadn't grieved properly, everybody was telling me to be happy for my daughter. The last thing I wanted to do was make her sad too, but there was only so much I could take.

"What's wrong Gaara?" Naruto asked once I'd calmed down a little.

"E-Everything!" I wailed. "It h-hurts! I-I miss him so much Naruto!"

"I know, he probably misses you too."

"Nobody u-understands how m-much we loved each other! I don't want to fall in love again! I can't e-ever love another person again!"

"Gaara, Lee wouldn't want to see you this upset. I know what he thought of you - he told me! He said that you were the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would give his life for you. I know exactly what you meant to him and seeing you cry like this would break his heart." Naruto said gently, rubbing my back in a comforting way.

"I-I know... but I h-haven't grieved him... p-please let me cry..."

He nodded and continued to hold me as I cried harder than I had done in ages.

Silence fell upon us soon, except for the sound of me crying. Everybody in the house had gone to bed. Naruto and I sat on the kitchen floor for a very long time. I snapped out of my daydream and noticed that the kitchen was no longer dark. Moonlight shone in from the window above the counter and created a large, mesmerizing silver ray that had settled on the floor where I was curled up with Naruto. Something about that moment gave me reassurance and I felt safe. My worries melted away from me. The light faded slowly as a cloud passed over the moon and all was dark again. It wasn't until my father came home that I realized that Naruto had fallen asleep, holding me in his arms. The kitchen light flicked on and I looked up as father came in.

"Gaara." He said quietly. "It's three in the morning... Why aren't you in bed?"

"Lost track of time." I replied with a yawn. My eyelids felt heavy and my body was weak.

"Have you been crying?"

"No, I'm fine."

He smirked and wiped a tear from my face with his thumb. "Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "No dad... go to bed. You look exhausted."

"It's work Gaara. It's what it does to you. I'm used to it."

"Please, get some rest."

He shook his head. "Not until you and Naruto are settled."

"I think he fell asleep on me..." I giggled, gently moving Naruto off of me. I scowled as I saw that he'd drooled all over my shirt.

My father smirked and picked Naruto up, then took him into the lounge before placing him carefully on the sofa as not to wake him. "He can sleep in here for tonight."

I nodded and lay a few thick blankets over him. Nights in a desert could be perishing and I didn't want him catching a cold or anything. "Goodnight Naruto... and thank you..." I said gently, patting his blonde head.

"Come on Gaara... you need to sleep too. For you and Kaeda." Father reminded me quietly.

I nodded and followed him upstairs. "Goodnight dad."

"You too." He smiled and went into his room whilst I went into mine. My heart didn't feel so heavy now I'd had a good cry. It was all I needed from the beginning really. I lay down on my bed, covering myself with the blankets. I managed to fall asleep almost undisturbed for the rest of the night, except for a few trips to the bathroom.

3

The next morning, I was awoken by the sunlight shining on my face, almost blinding me. I growled and turned onto my side, but was rudely interrupted again as a weight jumped on me excitely.

"Mornin' Gaara!" Naruto greeted rather loudly into my ear.

Moodily, I shoved him onto the floor and pulled the blankets over my head.

"Oh, aren't you a lazy one today huh?" I felt his hands reach under the blankets and tickle my sides.

"Uhnn... Naruto!" I groaned. "Piss off!"

He tickled me harder, so I grabbed my pillow and smacked him over the head with it.

"Oh you'll pay for that one, Gaara!" He grinned, pinning me to the bed.

I suddenly felt nauseous and squirmed under his grip. "Let me go. I feel sick."

He nodded and moved away from me. I rushed into the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. After that was done, I flushed the toilet and went over to the sink, rinsing my mouth out. When I looked into the full-body mirror, I lifted up my shirt and gasped. My once flat stomach now had a small bump in it and my waist had curved in even more. "I look like a freaking woman!" I muttered, letting my shirt fall back down again. Despite all of this, I couldn't wait until I could hold Kaeda in my arms.

"Sorry Gaara. Did I trigger your morning sickness?" Naruto asked guiltily.

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry for being moody with you, Naruto. It's nothing you've done, I swear. I just feel so tired and pissed off all the time."

"Hey, it's fine, I understand. Why don't you relax in the bath for a while? It might make you feel better." He suggested.

"Yeah, I'll try that. Thanks."

"Welcome. I'm going downstairs to watch some TV ." He said, leaving the room.

I filled the bath, stripped and climbed in, The hot water made me feel sleepy and happy. It really did relax me as Naruto had said. I started to wash myself and soaked in the tub for a while until a sharp knock came from the door. "Gaara!" Yelled Kankuro's voice. "You've been in there for a whole hour! What the hell are you doing? Jacking off?"  
I blushed. "No, I'm in the bath!"  
"Why do you take so long in the bath?"  
"Oh, probably because I don't want to smell like you!" I retorted, wrapping a towel round my waist before unlocking the door. "There, I'm done! Happy!"  
"Hallelujah!"

I smirked and walked back to my room, drying myself with a towel before putting on a baggy band shirt and black cargo pants. Naruto came rushing upstairs. "Gaara, I need to go, Jiraiya's worried about me. I'll come over tomorrow."

I nodded and hugged him. "Bye Naruto and thank you."

"Don't mention it." He replied, rushing downstairs. Moments later, I heard the front door open and then close. Naruto was such a great friend to me.


	10. Confession

**A/N:**** Yay, double figures! Thank you so much for all your support and reviews – They mean a lot to me. Keep reading and reviewing/commenting and I'll keep writing. Thank you very much and please enjoy this latest chapter!~**

**Chapter 10**

**Confession**

Over the next few months or so, Naruto came round almost every day to check up on Kaeda and me. If he couldn't visit us, he would phone and we'd talk for hours. It made me feel important for the first time since Lee died.  
I was now in my second trimester and my bump was getting bigger. It made me feel a little insecure, but knowing Kaeda was growing healthily inside me made me feel a lot better about myself. The pregnancy symptoms were easing off finally, and it was nice to wake up in the morning without my stomach churning. I did still feel slightly nauseous in the mornings, but that was probably due to hunger. Hunger was certainly better than not being able to get rid of the taste of bile out of my mouth for two hours.  
Another symptom that seemed to be slowly going away was low blood pressure. That meant that I _didn't _pass out whenever I stood, and that my dizziness _didn't_ cause me to throw up.  
Now I'd been getting slightly bigger, I made sure to wear clothes that covered the bump so nobody could tell what was really going on. It was only a matter of time until I couldn't hide it anymore. When that time came, I'd already decided to resign myself to staying at home. School was completely out of the question. I just wouldn't have time for it anyway after Kaeda was born; she would be my number one priority for the rest of my life, especially in the first eleven years after she was born. None of my family members had the time to look after her whilst I was out either.

One particular morning; seven-thirty on a Monday to be precise, I lay lounged on the sofa, thinking things over. It would only be three months until I'd be holding my little girl in my arms. I was also fulfilling my new craving: cookie dough ice cream – for breakfast, that is. It was hard to tell if I was losing my mind, or if it _was_ just the cravings.

The house was almost silent apart from the TV; Kankuro was on his way to college and Temari was at work. My dad had gone to the shops to buy me the panda pops I asked for.

There was nothing worth watching on TV apart from the news. It was all about politics, to which I couldn't care less about. I wasn't old enough to vote anyway. My father was one of the higher-ups and he hoped that Temari would replace him when he retired. Since he didn't want me to take over, I discovered how little I cared about what happened to the world.

Suddenly, I felt a weird sensation in my abdomen, like something fluttering and jabbing inside me. Was that Kaeda moving? It wasn't a completely foreign feeling either because I'd felt it before, only not as strong. I didn't think anything of it though. It also brought into my head the reality that I'd be a parent sooner than I thought.

Was I even ready?

I sat up and placed my hand on my small bump, smiling as she kicked again. "Wow baby, you're getting stronger every day, huh?" I asked her.

She responded by kicking again.

"Heh, you know who I am don't you? You recognize my voice."

At that moment, the front door closed and my father walked in, tossing the six-pack of panda pops to me. "Is that the right flavour?"

I nodded. "Thanks dad. You'll never guess what-"

"Gaara, I'm sorry, I'll be late for work if I don't leave now." He leaned over and pulled me into an awkward one-armed hug. "I'll see you later. Call me if you need me."

I sighed, disappointed that he didn't hear about Kaeda kicking for the first time. "Bye then."

He didn't respond. The door slammed and I was alone yet again.

For a few hours, I managed to fall asleep on the sofa. Occasionally, Kaeda woke me up by kicking lightly, but I soon got used to the feeling. Something I _wasn't_ used to was the sudden sound of heavy drums and guitars from my phone. Kaeda kicked me sharply in the ribs, as if scolding me for the rude awakening. I winced. "I guess Avenged Sevenfold aren't going to put you to sleep at night huh?" Why in God's name I chose such a loud ringtone I'll never know. I squinted at the screen, trying to read the caller ID through sleepy eyes.

Naruto.

I pressed my phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Morning Gaara!" Came Naruto's overly cheerful voice.

"It's two in the afternoon." I corrected him, glancing quickly at the clock. Wow, I really _had_ slept for a long time.

"Heh, my bad. You wanna come to the park with me?"

It would be nice for me to get some air; I hadn't left the house since two days ago when I went into the garden to chat with my sister. "Sure." I replied.

"Awesome! I'll swing by in about an hour."

"See you later." I said, ending the call. Walking around wouldn't do my sore back any good, but I didn't want to miss going out with my best and only friend. I went up to my room and pulled out a black hoodie. It had the print of a skull on the back and was about three sizes too big for me. My clothes had to be baggy to cover the bump and I knew that soon, even the baggiest of hoodies or shirts wouldn't be able to cover it. I put it on over my Iron Maiden T-shirt and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans. They were already becoming a bit too snug and I was only six months gone! It made me realize how badly I needed new clothes. Going to the park may turn into a shopping trip yet, but that was fine - It wasn't as if I hadn't any money to spare.

I got my wallet out and shoved it in my pocket, along with my keys and phone, then put on my red and black converses before waiting for Naruto to show up.

3

The walk to the park with Naruto was great – it was typical July weather: Hot, slightly humid and sunny. My favourite. I loved summer, that is when I wasn't dying of heatstroke and regretting the huge hoodie I'd put on. It wasn't as if I could take it off either, because everybody would notice the bump.

When we finally reached the park, we sat on the swings for a while and I saw some kids run in through the gate with their parents. They immediately went over to the climbing frame, despite their mother yelling at them to be careful. It was a strange thought that soon, I would be doing that. I was terrified that I'd do something wrong. Hell, I'd never held a baby in my life! What would happen if I dropped her? How would I cope if I had her taken away from me by a social worker for not looking after her properly? I had no experience with children whatsoever, with being the youngest in my family. I didn't even have any cousins younger than me, nor nieces or nephews. I was quite literally the baby of the entire family. It sucked.

"You okay Gaara?" Asked Naruto, breaking my train of thought. His voice startled me a little.

I nodded absently. "Yeah, why?"

"You're quiet."

"So are you." I replied, turning to him. "Something on your mind?"

"Maybe." He responded.

"What's up?"

"I-I can't tell you..."

"Hey, I told you about my pregnancy, and that was meant to be a secret." I said, sounding a little hurt.

"I know, but I just can't tell you this."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on. Spit it out."

He sighed. "It's too soon to tell you after everything that's happened."

I moved closer to him. "Why can't you just say it?"

"It will only hurt you if I do."

"What, do you hate me or something?"

Naruto shook his head. "Quite the opposite."

I opened my mouth to say something when he stood up. "I'm bored. Let's go somewhere else."

God, he pissed me off sometimes. He was so good at avoiding my questions! That didn't mean I'd forget what he said either. I would confront him about it later. He was going to give me the answer I wanted whether he liked it or not.

"Come on." He urged.

I sighed and stood up, starting to walk out of the park with him. We didn't exchange a word for the next few minutes. His words were flowing in my head repeatedly.

_"What, do you hate me or something?"_

_"Quite the opposite."_

What did he mean by that? If he didn't hate me, that meant he liked me, but of course, he liked me. We were friends right? What if he meant he liked me... more than a friend though?

No. That was stupid. I didn't want anybody else because it would feel like I was cheating on Lee. I couldn't do that to his loving memory. It felt like my heart was going to betray me though.

I gazed up at Naruto, noticing a troubled expression on his face. His bright blue eyes held confusion and sadness, something I hadn't seen in a while. He was always cheery and I missed that happy side of him for once. Negativity didn't suit him at all.

Since my bump was bigger, my back was starting to hurt with all the walking. The hot weather was making me tired too, and thirsty. I stopped and leaned against the wall of a nearby gift shop, rubbing my back in an attempt to quell the dull ache.

Naruto stopped walking and turned to me. "Are you okay?"

"My back is killing me..." I groaned.

"Well I'm a little hungry. Do you want to go to a café and get a bite to eat? We can take a rest."

I nodded. "Sure. I'm a little hungry too."

"Aren't you always?"

"Haven't you noticed I have two people to feed now?" I asked him with a playful glare and followed him into a small café just across the street.

"I was kidding. Lighten up." He said taking a seat.

"I'm tired, hot, sore and thirsty. I don't really feel like joking around today." I said, sitting opposite him.

"You will when I'm done with you." He told me with a grin.

I blushed slightly. "Is that a threat?"

"Maybe."

I smirked and started looking through the menu.

A pretty waitress came over a few minutes later with a notebook in her hand. "Are you ready to order?" She asked.

Naruto looked up at her, or rather at her chest. "Ramen and a chocolate shake please."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Hotdog and a coke for me please."

"Coming right up." She collected our menus and walked away to fetch our drinks.

Naruto wiped the drool from his chin. "Gaara, did you see the tits on her?!"

"They were pretty big." I remarked absently. Being Gay, I never really took much notice of girls, but her cleavage was practically in my face as she collected our menus. It was hard not to notice.

"Damn right!"

"Naruto."  
"What?"

"You're drooling again."

He shook his head and turned his attention back to me. "So how are you and little Kaeda getting along?"

"We're fine." I said with a smile. "She keeps kicking me."

"Does it hurt?"

I shook my head. "It feels weird but no, it doesn't hurt unless she kicks my ribs. Hardly surprising after the accident." My ribs were crushed from the impact of the crash, and I had metal plates and rods to replace the bones that couldn't be repaired. It was only a few months ago too, so I was still sore from it.

He grunted in agreement, his head turning at the sound of high heels on the wooden floor.

Of course, it was the waitress coming back over with our drinks and once again, Naruto's eyeballs were practically down her shirt in the time that she remained there. She left our table quite hurriedly after that. "Aww, Gaara, you scared her away with your hormones." He whined.

I resisted the urge to kick him in the balls. "You scared her away with your stupid drooling face."

He poked my forehead. "Now that wasn't very nice was it?"

I stuck my tongue out at him and sipped my coke. "So, what were you trying to tell me earlier?"

"Huh?"

"Oh you know the whole "quite the opposite" episode?"

He blushed a little, looking nervous. "Ah... w-well I-I... I gotta take a leak, be right back!"

"Oh no you don't. Not until you tell me." I growled, grabbing onto his arm before he could run off.

"I've forgotten!"

"No you haven't."

"Yes I have!"

"No."

"Yes!"  
"No!"  
"Yes!"

"N-" I was cut off when Kaeda kicked me in my already bruised ribs. "Ow…" I murmured, placing my hand on my growing abdomen and rubbing softly to try to settle her. "Why must you kick me baby? Don't you like coke or something?"

"She kicked?!" Naruto said a little too loudly, reaching under the table and groping around for my abdomen.  
I kicked him in the shin, earning a yelp of pain. "Idiot! I'm not some animal at the petting zoo - And keep your damn voice down!"

He pouted, and then proceeded to speak in a hushed voice. "Aww, I've never felt a baby kick before. Can I please feel Gaara? Just for a second!" He pleaded.

I rolled my eyes. "Later. Most people aren't accustomed to seeing a pregnant teenage boy with a drooling blond pervert groping his belly."

We were interrupted by the sound of the waitress putting our plates down onto the table. "Here is your food, please enjoy." She said, placing the chopsticks next to Naruto's bowl of steaming ramen.

I sighed and nodded at the waitress, "Thank you, we will." Then turned back to Naruto who was sat back down already, stuffing his face with ramen. I started to eat my hotdog, the questions I wanted to ask him still unanswered.

3

Later on that night, I offered Naruto to stay over and he accepted. It would give me another chance to interrogate him.

"So are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Naruto asked through a mouthful of popcorn as we watched a movie together. It was Terminator 4, and one of Naruto's favourites. I wasn't keen on the series myself.

"You know damn well what!" I hissed, turning to face him.

The blonde kept his eyes focused on the television. "Umm…" He shovelled another handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Well… can't we talk about this later?"  
I turned the television off. "No, we can talk about this now."

He winced and faced me, not saying a word.

"Naruto."

"Fine!" He growled, blushing slightly, before mumbling something incoherent.

"What?" I asked.

"I said I love you! Okay?!"

"Shut up." I scoffed.

He looked at me hurt. "Well, you told me to say it!"

It suddenly dawned on me that he wasn't lying, and everything began to make sense. "You're really not kidding are you?" I asked quietly after a few moments.

"Why would I lie about something like that, huh? After everything that happened with Lee, do you really think I don't feel bad enough already?!"

I didn't reply and stared at the floor.

Naruto got up.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." Was his cold reply. "See you later."

"Naruto, wait."

"I can't do this! I can't love you when Lee isn't even cold in his grave! You're carrying his child too! If we start a relationship, she'll be calling me daddy as soon as she learns to speak, and who will be there to tell her that I'm not actually her father?!"

He had a point. If Naruto and I became an item, it would just be like cheating on Lee. I also had to think of my daughter too. It would be confusing for her as she grew up, not knowing whether to call Naruto by his name or call him 'daddy'

I missed Lee so much, and I knew I didn't want to hurt Naruto any more, not after all he'd done for me. He deserved to be loved; he deserved to be a part of Kaeda's lives and mine. "I'm sorry." I said weakly.

He stopped in the doorway and sighed.

"You've helped me so much and I haven't even thanked you once. You're much stronger than I'll ever be and… I don't deserve the happiness you've brought to me. If it weren't for you, I don't think I'd be here right now." I murmured, tears filling my eyes. "If my life during those first few months could be described as a storm on the sea, then I was drowning under those thrashing waves, sinking lower and lower until the darkness consumed me – but you, you're the bright ray of sunshine that broke through the clouds and pulled me to the surface again. When you came to see me for the first time after my accident, I felt safe and I could finally breathe again… I could move on." I paused for a few moments, before continuing tearfully, "Lee is gone, and he won't come back to me no matter how much I scream, plead and cry. The only way we'll be together again is if I kill myself, but you know I can't do that, not now this helpless baby needs me. It's true that Kaeda will grow up without her daddy, but I'll take her to his grave every day, tell her the stories of how wonderful he was so she knows he'll always love her and watch over her no matter what happens. He will never be forgotten, because I'm keeping his memory as alive as I can until the day comes when I join him up there."

There was complete silence for a few seconds, before Naruto turned and hugged me tight. There were tears in his eyes. "You're right."

I hugged back, burying my face into his orange hoodie and inhaling his scent. He smelled good - a mixture of clean linen and pine with a faint hint of spice from his deodorant. "Give me a chance." I murmured after a few seconds. "I'll prove to you that I can love you. Things are going to change."

"You know I can't resist that offer." He said in a soothing voice, pressing his lips to my forehead.

I smiled slightly, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "Thank you."

Finally, he released me and we continued watching the movie. Minutes passed and his warm hand slid down to my growing belly. I stiffened at first, his touch making me feel nervous.

"Can I feel her kick Gaara?" He asked. "You said I was allowed."

I nodded, not taking my eyes off the screen. "Be careful, don't press too hard."

He rubbed gentle circles over my bump and Kaeda moved a little inside me, before kicking at Naruto's hand. I smiled a little and turned to him. "Heh, she likes you Naruto."

He gasped and stared in awe. "W-wow! That's the first time I've felt a baby kick! Awesome!"

"You're not the one who has to deal with her attempting to liquidize your organs if you don't give her what she wants." I scoffed, taking a swig from my bottle of flavoured water.

"And that's only going to get worse." He said, rubbing my abdomen a little more. It felt strangely good. I'd had a little bit of cramping for the past few days due to my body trying to adapt to accommodate her, and with Naruto's hands working their magic, the pain was slowly going away. "Tell me about it." I said after a few moments, closing my eyes and wrapping my arms around him.

He gently pulled me into his lap and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. The movie didn't matter anymore; I was with him and he was making me feel better.

We were silent for the next couple of minutes, before Naruto closed his eyes and leaned in close to me. I felt my face heat up and my heart began to beat faster. Before I knew it, we were kissing. I'd missed feeling lips against mine for so long and enjoyed every moment of the fluttery feeling I got in my stomach. We pulled away after a few moments and I stared at him, my face burning.

He grinned and stroked my cheek. "I've been wanting to do that for a while."

"Yeah?" I asked softly, kissing him lightly again.  
The movie was soon finished, and it was about nine thirty. I reluctantly got up from his arms. "I want to take a bath, watch what you want."

He nodded. "Alright then. See you later."

I smiled a little and headed to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door in case Kankuro came barging in. The amount of times he'd forgotten to knock and seen either Temari or me in the bath was unreal. No matter how much we told him to knock, he usually forgot. That was why we begged my father to have a lock put on the door.  
Once inside the bathroom, I went over to the tub and filled it with water, then stood in front of the mirror for a while. Looking at my reflection, I saw that I looked a lot better now than in the past few months. Finally, I was starting to regain some of the weight I had lost. Even Tsunade had told me I needed to gain at least sixteen pounds if I hoped to carry Kaeda full term. It was hard though; I'd been struggling to manage full meals after Lee died, having been too depressed to eat properly, or too busy resting after the accident. It was only now that Naruto was there for me that I was starting to get over the trauma of what happened. It wasn't as if Kankuro was helping me out though, he'd just drag me down again once I was on a high.  
I stared down at the sink for a few seconds, and then looked back up to the mirror.  
My heart felt like it stopped.

Lee was stood behind me, clear as day. The only thing was he looked exactly how I last remembered him when we were laying in that car together. He was soaked in blood and heavily wounded from what I could see of his torn clothes. Glass littered his sleek black hair and there was a weak smile on his face as our eyes met - the same way he'd looked at me all those months back before his eyes closed, never to open again. "Lee…" I whispered, my voice trembling from the shock. It was a horrible sight to see him like that again. I'd only just managed to push that image to the back of my mind, and here it was again, coming back to haunt me. Everything came flooding back to me and I fell to my knees, a choked sob escaping my mouth.  
From the corner of my eye, I saw him step closer and kneel in front of me. "Be happy." He whispered, his ghostly fingers lightly brushing over my face.

"Don't leave me…" I whimpered. The comfort of feeling his presence again; having his warm, calming scent wrap around me was overwhelming.

Back then in the car, when he held my hand, he knew he was going to die, I could see it in his eyes, yet I refused to believe it – I loved him too much to think that it could happen, I trusted the doctors to make him live so we could raise our child together.

"I want you to let Naruto love you. Do not feel guilty. You deserve happiness." Came his voice again. He moved closer, wrapping his arms around me. I closed my eyes, letting his presence flow through me.

A cold splash on my face caused me to gasp and sit up. Kankuro stood over me, holding a now empty glass with a scowl on his face. I groaned, pressing a hand to my throbbing head and winced as it met a bruise. Was my experience with Lee just another dream?

"If you're going to knock yourself out in the bathroom, at least have the courtesy to keep the door unlocked!" My brother hissed, kicking me in the side. My arms immediately went to protect my abdomen.

Naruto rushed in at that moment, shoving Kankuro into the bathtub. "You leave him alone!" He snapped, before helping me to my feet. "Come on, you need to get some rest." He said softly.  
Kankuro splashed around in the water and jumped out, coughing and spluttering. He grabbed Naruto's throat and slammed him up against the wall. "Fucking _brat_. Just what in the flying_ fuck_ were you hoping to achieve?" He growled, punching him in the abdomen repeatedly.

The blond coughed up blood violently, unable to get his breath as his body was pulverized.  
"Leave him alone!" I cried, jumping on Kankuro's back and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck to choke him. He let out a strangled cry, stumbling back into the mirror and shattering it. The shards cut into my back and I hissed in pain. His whole weight was thrown back onto me as he fell, crushing my bump. Panicking, I attempted to push him away, squirming frantically to protect my unborn child. My brother complied with my wishes and got up, lunging at Naruto once more.  
I glared at him and rushed forwards again, punching his back harder and harder until he let go, but he didn't.

Instead, he turned around, punching me hard. "You think you can stop me?!"

My head spun from the impact and I could see stars. I groaned, tenderly touching my lip and realized I'd bitten through it.

Naruto meanwhile was desperately struggling to get away, I could tell, but my brother was far stronger than he was and soon, his struggling got weaker. It was only when he finally lost consciousness that Kankuro walked over to me. I flinched, pressing myself back against the wall.

He picked up a glass shard and moved closer to me, then plunged the knife straight into his side.

My eyes widened and I leapt to my feet, grabbing hold of the shard and trying to pull it out. "Are you crazy?!"

Kankuro smirked. "You're dead meat." He hissed.  
"What on earth is going on in here?!" My father growled, throwing open the door. He froze when he saw me, his eyes narrowing to slits.  
My brother cried out in agony, collapsing to the floor. "What a-are you doing Gaara?!"

I stared at him in shock. "You fucking did this on purpose!"

My father rushed inside, shoving me back against the wall. "Get out of my way!"

"D-dad… It wasn't me! He did this to himself!" I tried to explain as tears filled my eyes.

"Enough!" He snarled, dropping down beside my brother and checking how deep the shard had gone in. He then turned him onto his good side and pulled out his cell phone to dial for an ambulance.

I just stood there, shaking violently. My father was seething with anger - I could practically feel the fury radiating off him and hitting me all sides. The bathroom floor was wet with the water from the bath and now mixed with Kankuro's blood. Did my brother hate me that much? Was he really that intent on getting rid of me? I hadn't done anything wrong! I was just protecting Naruto! "Dad, please beli-" I began.

"Not another word!" He spat, grabbing me by the front of my shirt. "I'm tired of your nonsense! Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean the world revolves around you and that I'll forgive you for anything!"

"I wasn't implying that! Just list-"

"Don't you dare answer me back, Gaara!" He snapped, shaking with fury. "I saw what you did, trying to kill your own flesh and blood!"

"If you would just listen to me, He's just doing this to get me into trouble, you know how he's been ever since he found out I was Gay!"

"You're psychotic! How can I believe you when you're the one who's more likely to pick up a knife and stab somebody! Your brother would never do such a thing to himself, he's not like you!"

"Yeah, nobody in this house is like me! Are you sure my mother wasn't seeing someone behind your fucking back? I don't belong here, I never did!" I hissed, turning around to leave, but he grabbed my arm, squeezing it tightly.

"Don't turn your back on me, I am talking to you!"

"No, you're shouting at me!" I corrected him. "You're not even willing to hear what I have to say, so what's the point of me being in the same room as you?!"

"Because you're an egoistic little liar! How am I supposed to believe a word that comes out of your mouth?! You can stay here until you realize just what you have done!"

Naruto then cut in, having regained consciousness. "Non-Believer, just hear me out then if you don't want to listen to Gaara! Kankuro attacked me! I wouldn't be surprised if he did this to himself!"

His attention turned to my best friend. "You! Get the fuck out of my house! Why are you always here anyway? Eating my food, breathing my oxygen, wasting my fucking time?!"

"If you haven't noticed, I've been here for your son since nobody else seems interested!"  
"Why?" He snarled. "I know you're just dying to jump straight into bed with him!"

"No I'm not! You just hate anybody getting close to him, don't you? You can't stand it when he falls in love and becomes happy!"

"He's in love with you?!" He glared at me. "Lee isn't even cold in his grave and you're off chasing other people! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! What kind of example will you be setting for your child?!"

I placed my hands over my bump protectively and pressed myself into the corner of the room.

Naruto flinched and glared at him. "You know, you're not setting a good example to your kids either! What, by shouting at your son like this, not even attempting to understand what he's trying to say! I just hope that your shitty parenting skills don't rub off on Gaara!"

He lunged forward, gripping the front of Naruto's shirt and slamming him against the wall. "You know nothing about me, now get the fuck out of my house or I'll make sure you never walk again." He growled in a dangerous tone.

"Oh, don't you worry yourself old man, I'm going!" He shoved past him and stormed out of the room.

After the front door slammed, everything was uncomfortably silent. I was so scared of what would happen next.

My father stood up and turned to me. "You're not to see that damn brat again!" He growled in a dangerous tone. "Clean this mess the fuck up right now, then go to your room and pray to God that you don't utter a word against me for the rest of your miserable life!"

I started to cry, getting down on my hands and knees as I picked up the remnants of the mirror with violently shaking hands. I felt sick from fear, the unnatural feeling twisting my insides until my skin flushed hot. I leaned over the toilet, vomiting harshly into it.

"Hurry up!" My father snarled. "I said clean it up!"

I reached up to flush the toilet and went back to cleaning up the sharp fragments of glass.

Paranoia set in then. _Broken mirror… Seven years bad luck, seven years bad luck, seven years bad luck…_

Those words flowed through my head over and over. Tears filled my eyes. I didn't even care when my own blood mixed with the water on the floor. I deserved to feel pain, I deserved all this hurt. My hands were cut to ribbons in a matter of minutes, but I was too heartbroken to pay any attention to it. My family hated me; I knew it, especially Kankuro. He'd been making it clear how much he despised me for over a year now; that's what hurt the most. Before I came out, we were so close, completely inseparable, but I couldn't change who I was, as much as I wanted to. Being how I was hurt so much, yet I just couldn't bring myself to love a girl.

Whilst I was lost in thought, the ambulance team rushed in to see to my brother.

"What happened?" One of the paramedics asked from the other side of the room

"My two sons had a fight. I'm sure neither of them meant for it to go this far." My father replied.

"Is the other one in need of medical attention too?"

"No. He's fine."

I felt angry. This was Kankuro's fault! He was the one who kicked me whilst I was just waking up after knocking myself out! He was the one who violently beat up my best friend! I wasn't fine at all! My hands were sliced up, so was my back; not to mention my abdomen was hurting from where Kankuro had crushed me. I knew I was in the wrong for jumping on his back and trying to strangle him, but the stab wound was self-inflicted! I had nothing to do with it!

I finished picking up the broken mirror shards a few minutes later and carried them downstairs to throw in the garbage. Whilst down there, I ran my hands under the cold water to assess the damage the sharp mirror fragments had done to them. The cuts were a lot deeper on my left hand, so I started to bandage it up. The right one wasn't too bad luckily and the bleeding had already stopped - it didn't even need dressing.

I heard the frantic footsteps of the paramedics as they carried Kankuro down the stairs and out the front door.

My father was following them, but he stopped at the bottom of the stairs and beckoned me over.

Fear gripped my chest and my heart began to beat so fast that I could practically hear it. I swallowed hard, heading over to him reluctantly and avoiding eye contact.

He tilted my chin up. "You will look at me when I talk to you!"

I flinched, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Good. Right, I could ground you, but I don't think that is sufficient after what you've done tonight." He growled, grabbing the back of my shirt and shoving me up the stairs. "Go to your room right now."

There was a sharp pain in my abdomen and I winced, placing my hand on my small bump. "D-dad… something's wrong."

"Don't give me that! You're an egoistic, nasty, pathetic child and I'm sick of the sight of you. Don't you even think about speaking to me!" He hissed, shoving me into my bedroom. I toppled back into the dresser, hitting my back on the corner.

"I'm serious!" I protested, trying to get up, but the door was already closing. "No, you have to listen to me! Kankuro fell back on me! Something could have happened to the baby!"

He slammed the door shut, just as I collapsed against it.

"There's nothing wrong with you! You're just jealous that your poor injured brother is getting all of the attention aren't you?!" Came his voice from the other side of the door.

I frantically banged my fist against it and pulled on the handle hard, but my heart sunk when I heard the click of a lock. "No, please don't go! I wouldn't lie about something like this!"

"Hopefully this will teach you a damn good lesson!" He snarled. "One more word and I'll keep you in there for a week!"  
I flinched, tears running down my face. Kaeda wasn't moving inside me anymore. "Fine then! You can keep me in here for a fucking week! You'll be damn sorry when you find out you've killed your grandchild and that your son has suddenly lost the will to live!" I snapped.

"You're a dirty little liar!" His voice was getting louder. "I don't have time to argue with you, your brother needs me!" With that, I heard him stomp down the stairs.

The house was reduced to silence once again, and worst of all, the electrics had tripped out. I didn't have access to the fuse box either, as that was downstairs. Not even the moon was out to send me even the slightest bit of comfort. I reached under my bed and pulled out Lee's sweatshirt, hugging it close as I cried myself to sleep.


	11. Run Away

**A/N:** **I've posted this chapter earlier than expected for one of my dear friends who needs some cheering up. Hope you feel better soon darling~**

**This is going to be an extra-long chapter by the way, so be warned.)**

**Without You**

**Chapter 11**

Warm sunlight gently touched my face, rousing me slowly from my slumber. I opened my eyes – with great difficulty it seemed, because my face felt somewhat stiff with the amount of tears I'd cried last night. There was a burning sensation in my stomach and I realized that I hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon when I went out with Naruto, and I _had _vomited out of complete fear after Kankuro stabbed himself. Spiteful bastard.

There was nothing left in my stomach, not even water. I hadn't drank anything either and the sensation was making me nauseous. If I were to throw up though, it would be on my bedroom floor since I didn't have access to the bathroom right now. _When will my father come back? _I wondered. _Will he even come back at all?_

The alarm clock beside my bed read eight-thirty. Well, that confirmed that I in fact hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours. Oh, the joy. My stomach was killing me.

I rubbed at my sore eyes and rolled onto my other side with my back to the window. The sunlight already giving me a headache, and I couldn't be bothered to get up to close the blinds either – though the warmth on my back was rather nice.

The events of last night were playing over in my head, making me feel even more distressed - distressed that no matter how loud I spoke, or how much I pleaded with him, my father just wouldn't listen. There was a persistent ache in my heart as I began to think that my family didn't love me at all. I'd be better off living somewhere else, or dead. Would they even care? Would anybody shed a single tear at my funeral? Who would come? Those thoughts seemed to haunt me as I curled up tighter. At this rate, I would end up dead. If I _had_ suffered a miscarriage, I would need an urgent operation to have Kaeda removed from my body. Since my father had locked me in my bedroom, I couldn't get to the hospital anyway, so I'd die of infection in a day or so.

Over the next few hours, the house was still completely silent apart from the muffled noises outside as people got on with their lives, so I guessed that my father was still at the hospital with Kankuro.

It made me wonder how my brother was doing. Yeah, he'd been a complete bastard to me since I told him I was gay, but he was still my brother and I loved him, even if the feelings weren't mutual. Family were family at the end of the day.

It _would_ take a lot to put us back on speaking terms though; he'd ultimately destroyed the relationship I'd built up with my father over the past few years - the relationship I worked so hard on. Just as I was getting close to him, Kankuro went and ruined it all with his nasty little lies.

My mind drifted back to my daughter once again, and I rubbed my hand over the bump, trying to wake her up or at least get some sort of response. Yesterday, I'd been complaining about her kicking me too hard, but right now, I'd give anything to feel some sort of movement. I couldn't care less if she caused internal bleeding through kicking. Just knowing that my little girl was alive would give me something to live for. All she needed to do was shift around, just to let me know that she was still alive.

Nothing happened though. I didn't even feel a twitch or even a flutter, no matter how hard I rubbed, or how softly I spoke.

"Baby, please..." I whimpered. "I'm so sorry… I didn't protect you enough. You were my world; you were all I had left to live for." I sobbed. "Please don't do this to me… I can't live without you!"

Still nothing.

So, she was gone… I would never get to hold her in my arms, or watch her play and grow up. Why did I have to get involved in that fight? Why was I so irresponsible? Maybe this was destiny; maybe this was God's way of telling me that I wasn't fit to be a parent just yet…

"D-don't worry… daddy is g-going to take care of you. I'll be joining y-you soon, my angel." Tears ran down my face. I felt empty… empty and more alone than I had ever felt in my life.

Even Naruto wasn't here anymore. I'd be surprised if he even looked at me again, let alone spoke to me after what my father said to him. I had nobody to turn to now. Kaeda was dead, my little angel - the most important thing in my life and the beautiful bundle of love I created with Lee. She was all I had left of him, and nobody could see how much she meant to me.

I curled up tighter, shaking violently with sobs. I just wanted to die now. What did I have left to live for? What did I have left to look forward to? Lee was gone, Kaeda was gone, Naruto probably wouldn't dare to come near me again, and my own family didn't even want to know me.

Finally managing to calm myself down, I reached into my drawer and pulled out a bottle of painkillers, before tipping the whole lot of them into my hand. I stared at the white pills for a moment, a small smile tugging at my lips despite the tears running down my face. "I'll see you soon, Lee, Kaeda." I whispered, raising my hand to my mouth to swallow them all.

It was then that I heard the click of a lock, and the door swung open. I flinched, trying to shove the pills back into the bottle, but my hands were shaking so badly that the bottle slipped out of my grasp and the tablets clattered loudly to the floor.

My father stood in the doorway, staring at me in shock. He rushed over to me. "What the hell is this?!" He demanded, gesturing over to the scattered pills on my laminated floor, some of them still rolling around.  
I avoided eye contact, pushing myself hard against the wall, but he grabbed my wrist before I could even get halfway across the bed.

"Answer me!"

"N-nothing." I stuttered, trying to pull my arm free. "Let go, you're hurting me."

He blinked and let go of my wrist, before adopting his angry expression yet again. "You're such a selfish brat! Your brother is lying injured in hospital and you are trying to take your own life? You have no reason to be sad, no reason at all! You're having a baby for crying out loud, an innocent child who you are obviously planning to kill alongside yourself! What would Lee think? He'd sure as hell be pissed off with you! What kind of monster kills their own child; their own _flesh and blood_? You disgust me!"

"There is no baby." I said quietly, only half listening to his rant. What did it matter? The damage was done. I had no reason to apologize.

"Of course there is! You're doing it again, aren't you? You're _lying_ to me again, you arrogant little prick! You think about nobody but yourself!"

I flinched, deciding to keep my mouth shut about what actually happened last night. He wasn't going to believe me anyway, no matter what I told him. He thought the sun shined out of Kankuro's ass, apparently. "If you hate me that much, why aren't I in jail?" I asked tonelessly.

"Oh, believe me, I was _very _tempted to call the police after what you did, but Kankuro insisted that I didn't. See how much he does for you? You're ungrateful, lazy and selfish to assume that I care more about you than him at the moment!"

Oh, my brother had decided to try to act all innocent again by refusing to press charges against me? I wasn't sure if he did it to make me look even worse, or if it was because he was afraid that the police would find out the truth. That was it, I just snapped. I was sick of him pushing me around, treating me as I was an outcast. I was _human_. I had feelings like everybody else, but my father and brother were both obviously too blinded by hatred to see that. "I didn't do it!" I snapped at my father, finally unable to hold back my words any longer. Kankuro had pushed it too far this time.  
"What have I told you about lying?! Do you _want_ to continue living under my roof?"

"I told you, he did it to himself!"

"How dare you accuse him of something like that! I can imagine _you _to hurt yourself out of pure spite, but not him! After all, if you're evil enough to kill your child. Just shows how little a heart you have!"

"He fell on me really hard! Kaeda-!" I began to explain, but I was cut off when he brought his hand up and backhanded me hard across the face. "Not another word." He hissed quietly. Quiet wasn't good, especially for him. It meant he was livid, and for him to hit me only emphasized that further. He didn't believe in hitting us, not even when any of us were bad.

I held my stinging cheek, staring down into my lap. Tears fell from my eyes once again. I looked up at him. He wore the same shocked expression as I did, even though I could see him trying to keep a stern expression on his face.

"D-dad…" My heart hurt even more. He really did hate me. I tried to reach out and hug him, but he shoved me away. "Just stay out of my sight. You make me sick." He then got up and left the room.

I sat there for a few moments, feeling unwanted and hurt. The pain in my cheek had subsided, but a bright red hand mark remained.

"Wait." I said in almost a whisper.

"What?" He spat, his eyes narrowing as he looked at me.

"How's Kankuro?"

"Finally decided to think of somebody else for a change? Your brother is fine. You're damn lucky only flesh and muscle were damaged, or he probably would have died!"

I kept my gaze locked on the floor and nodded slightly.

"Aren't you going to apologize?"

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Good, now you'll stay up here whilst I go fetch him from the hospital. Then you can apologize to _him._"

I swallowed roughly, wincing as my throat hurt. "Can I have some water please?" I asked him.

"No." He snapped. "You can have some when you apologize to your brother."

Well, he didn't seem to care that I was dehydrated either. It would probably kill me soon, with a bit of luck. I watched as he stormed out of the room, unfortunately locking the door again.

It was quiet for a while after the front door slammed, apart from the rhythmic ticking of the clock that sat on my dresser. I was hurt and frustrated, sick of Kankuro destroying my life like I had no feelings at all.

_I've had enough _I thought, before getting up and shoving all my belongings into a bag. I put all the painkillers back into the pot so I could take them with me, planning to end my life far from where anybody would find my body. Nobody cared. I didn't even deserve a funeral if I was that insignificant of a person.

After packing my things, Lee's sweatshirt included, I ripped a page out of my notebook and began to write a note to my family. Tears dropped onto the page, and my writing was barely legible from the way my hands still shook. It read:

_Father,_

_I know you always resented me for what happened to mother. I'll tell her how much you miss her when I join her, Lee and Kaeda up in heaven._

_I promise I won't kill Kaeda, she's already dead. I had a miscarriage last night when Kankuro fell on me, but that's not his fault – he just lost his balance. I wasn't lying about anything last night, but you don't have to believe me if you don't want to._

_I'm sorry I wasn't the son you always wanted, and I'm sorry for taking mother away from you. After Lee was killed, I know how much it hurts to lose your soulmate._

_All I want you to know now is that I love you, even though I barely showed it. That was because I was so afraid you'd just push me away. You were so serious and strict with me, and I never knew when to approach you._

_If you're currently wondering where I am, all I can say is that I'm in a better place now - a place I'll never come back from. It's the best thing for all of us, you know that. I just cause arguments and tension all the time, and all I've ever done is disappoint you. I'm sorry for everything: for killing mother whilst she was in labour with me, for being gay, for getting pregnant, and most of all, for being the pathetic, worthless excuse for a human being that you have to call your son. I wish I could have changed sooner before it came to this, but it's too late now. I didn't even have the courtesy to die when the car crashed. Instead, God took away a wonderful person from this world. Not a day goes by when I don't wish it were me instead. I never deserved that second chance at life. Kankuro wouldn't be in hospital if I did die, you would be a happier person, and Temari wouldn't have to work so hard to keep food on our table. I hope you'll be grateful of this gift. You can start all over again; tell everybody that mother died of an illness. You can pretend I never existed._

_By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. Don't bother looking for me. I'll at least end my life far away from here so you don't feel guilty for not looking for me. I don't deserve a funeral after all I've done to wrong you._

_We began to build a relationship after my accident, but I know we'll never be close. Especially now. I love you dad, I'll miss you so much, even if you won't miss me._

_Surprisingly enough, I'm going to miss Kankuro too. Tell him I'm sorry. He is my brother after all, and I can't hate him completely._

_Tell Temari she was the best sister in the world, tell her to marry Shikamaru. He's good for her. I've seen the way he makes her laugh._

_On a final note, I'll let you know that I've cleared everything out of my room, so you don't need to worry about what to do with my belongings after I'm gone. Most of my things are going in the trash. A corpse has no need for them. If you do happen to find my body and want to lay me to rest, all I ask is that you bury me next to Lee, if you can afford it._

_Thank you. I wish you all well for the future,_

_Gaara x_

_P.S: Here is my money. I was saving it for Kaeda, but she's gone now and soon, I will be joining her._

After writing the letter, I wiped away the tears that had formed in my eyes and pulled out a wad of cash from under my dresser. There was over three-hundred dollars altogether. I placed the notes on the letter and hauled the rucksack onto my shoulders. It was unbearably heavy, but I endured it and pulled myself up onto the window ledge. It was exhausting to move with all this extra weight, from both Kaeda and my bag, so I took a few moments to rest before standing up. I used the curtain rail to balance myself, before starting to kick my window. It was lucky I was wearing my black and silver New Rock boots on, along with a pair of thick jeans, or the glass shards would have cut my legs to ribbons. I wouldn't be going anywhere then, would I?

The glass smashed after a few kicks, and I glanced around my room for the last time, before climbing through the window and staring down at the ground below me, feeling a little nauseous at the thought of slipping and breaking my bones. I was going to kill myself anyway, but I at least wanted to be able to move to die somewhere nobody would find me, just as I promised my family in my letter. Broken legs didn't seem like a good idea right now.

Taking a deep breath, I slipped the bag from my shoulders and dropped it onto the grass at the foot of my house. It landed with a loud thud, but I paid no attention to it and turned around, stretching my left leg down over the windowsill, trying to get a good enough grip on my boots that would allow me to climb down without slipping and breaking my neck. Once I felt stable enough, I slowly pulled my body over the edge and began to scale down the wall.

The texture of the stone was rough and allowed me to descend easily without losing my grip. My boots had a thick sole on them, and they supported my weight well. For that, I was thankful. It was hard enough to stand with the heaviness of Kaeda in my abdomen threatening to break my spine, and I was _still_ exhausted by the time I reached the bottom. The glass had cut my hands and knees when I had climbed over the broken shards to get out of the window; but it wasn't anything too bad that would keep me from walking around. It wasn't as if I cared how badly hurt I was anyway unless it prevented me from walking; I would be dead in a mere couple of hours.

Staring at my house, the place I had lived all my life, tears filled my eyes again. Some of my happiest memories were here, such as when Lee kissed me goodnight on the lips outside my front door. It was the night of our first date. I remembered him coming to pick me up in his brand new car, now a wreck in the scrapyard, the car that my wonderful, loving boyfriend lost his life in.

Another memory I fondly remembered occurred many years ago, way before Kankuro and I fell out. Although I could only recall small snippets of the memory, I clearly remembered the excitement etched on my brother's face as he rushed towards me. I was a five-year old at the time, innocently playing around in my sandbox when he shoved a puppet into my hands. It was a beautiful carving made from laminated wood, its arms and legs detached from its body and held together by purple strings. It was in the form of a human and had three eyes arranged into a triangle, then a messy mop of 'hair' which was actually brown wool, sat atop its head. Its mouth was also designed to open and close. I remember smiling up at Kankuro and hugging him tight, thanking him for the wonderful present he'd made for me.

I was jerked from my reminiscing when I heard the almost sinister crunching of car tyres upon gravel as my father pulled up in the driveway. I was currently situated at the back of the house, but we had French doors in the kitchen so he'd be able to see me in the back garden as soon as he walked in. I hurried around to the side of the house as silent as I could and hid behind the tool shed. Thank God I was standing on grass, or he would have heard my hurried footsteps.

I watched my father get out of the car with Kankuro and Temari. My brother was being helped out of the car by my father and sister. He was really putting it on, acting like he was so weak and dying of the pain. Yeah right.

"That damn brat is going to pay for what he did to me." Hissed Kankuro's angry voice.

"I've locked him in his room if that's enough satisfaction for you." My father replied. "He's sulking and feeling sorry for himself. The selfish little bastard then tried to take an overdose so I'd feel sorry for him." He snorted. "Not going to happen. He hasn't got the guts to kill himself."

_Oh yeah? _I thought bitterly. _Just wait until you read my letter_

"You're right there." Kankuro snorted.

It was then that I heard my sister's voice. "Don't you think that locking him in his room is dangerous? Does he have access to food and water?" She asked.

"No." My father replied coldly. "I'm not being soft on him just because he's carrying a baby!"

"What if he has a miscarriage?!" She questioned.

"He won't."

"How can you-"

"Enough!" He spat. "Or do you want me to lock you up in _your_ room?"

There was no response to that. I sighed softly. At least Temari didn't hate me as much as they did. I almost felt bad for leaving her forever, but it was for the best.

As soon as I heard the front door slam shut, I cautiously walked out from behind the shed, hurrying as fast as I could away from the house, though making sure to tread extra carefully on the gravel so I didn't alert them. I knew my father always kept an ear open for the sound of our gravelled driveway. He was extremely paranoid about burglars, and making sure the house was prepared in case we had visitors.

Finally, I made it onto the sidewalk, luckily without any of my family members hearing me. I had to hurry. No doubt that once my father had set Kankuro on the couch, he'd go straight to my room to scold me some more. I walked as fast as I could down the street, not quite having enough strength to run.

**3**

It had warmed up a little by the time I made it into the city, but I was exhausted. My spine felt like it was going to break if I walked any further; I physically _couldn't_ walk any further.

A sigh left my lips as I leaned against a nearby wall, reaching behind me to rub my sore back. I was so hungry and thirsty. In the back of my mind, I regretted running away. No doubt if I'd have begged just a little more, my father would have given me a glass of water and something to eat. It was just as I looked up that I noticed a familiar blonde male hurrying towards me. He had various cuts and bruises on his face, but generally looked fine. I was glad that my brother hadn't banged him up too badly.

"What do you want?" I asked Naruto irritably. How could I end it all if he was going to delay me further? "I have to be somewhere."

He tilted my head up to look at him. "You've been crying."

"Well what do you expect after last night?" I snapped, jerking my chin out of his grasp and resuming staring at the floor.

"Well somebody's pissy this morning." He grumbled, and then stared pointedly at my bag. "Where are you headed anyway?"

"I'm going to see my aunt." I lied as I began to walk away, but I was cut short by a sharp pain in my abdomen. Gasping slightly, I wrapped my arms around my bump, a small shiver running up my spine.

Naruto stared at me for a moment before helping me straighten up.

I realized then that I had doubled over from the pain. "I'm fine."

"You're not." He growled. "Hospital. Now."

"N-"

"Gaara!" He said sharply. "Don't argue, there's something wrong with you!"

I winced at his tone of voice and tried to pull away. "Just fuck off, I said I'm fine!"

However, it _was_ Naruto, and of course, he never took no for an answer when he had his mind already made up about something. He then gripped my wrist, easily pulling me along the road. I tried to struggle, but it was no use. He'd always been so much stronger than I was.

I was just so afraid in case my father was already driving around looking for me. He'd just accuse me of being selfish and lock me in my bedroom again if he did happen to find me. Well, shit. If he did that, I'd still win. I would do all I could to die, like refusing to eat, taking hundreds of painkillers in one sitting, refusing to drink, throwing myself out of the window… there were so many ways to kill myself, and there wasn't shit he could do about it. He couldn't ruin my life if I was dead. Heck, I wouldn't have a life to ruin anymore! My soul would be in a place he couldn't reach, no matter what he did. I'd finally be away from all that pain and sorrow, I'd finally be with my wonderful Lee again.

Whilst I was lost in thought, Naruto had indeed dragged me to the hospital. I blinked up at the large building in front of us, letting him drag me through the double-doors

We approached the reception desk, where a pink-haired girl I recognized as one of Lee's old crushes, was sorting through some files. I assumed she was training to be a doctor under Tsunade. Her pale green eyes met mine, and she forced a smile. "Gaara, Naruto, what a lovely surprise."

I felt self-conscious, afraid of her figuring out that I was pregnant. Had Tsunade already told her? I hoped not. Even if she hadn't, my baggy hoodie hid the bump pretty well, but in my mind, it felt like I was shirtless, letting the eyes of everybody in the room stare and judge me.

Naruto grinned beside me, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sakura-chan…"

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"Gaara is really sick, can-" Naruto began.

"I need to see Tsunade." I interrupted him.

"Ah, she's busy right now. May I take a message?" She asked sweetly.

"This is urgent." I told her sternly. "Please, she'll understand."

"I'm sorry, but-"

"Look, she'll want to see me! She knows about my condition better than anybody else here!"

She raised a pink eyebrow. "Condition?"

I wanted to punch her.

"Gaara." Tsunade came in from one of the wards. "You're not due for a check-up for another week yet." She said.

"Something's wrong." I told her, my voice hoarse from fear.

Her eyes widened. She turned to Sakura. "It's fine. He needs to see me now."

The girl nodded, staring at me curiously.

I avoided her gaze, turning my attention to Tsunade. She immediately led me into a room to have an ultrasound scan. Naruto came in with me and helped me onto the bed, since I would struggle with all the weight along with the back pain.

"What happened?" Tsunade asked after closing the door and locking it, just to ensure that we wouldn't be disturbed. If anybody found out about this, it could ruin my life. Mind you, not like I would have a life to ruin later, actually.

"Kankuro attacked us… he fell back on me and crushed my abdomen." I explained to her sullenly, watching her set the scanner up. I was almost sure that Kaeda was dead, but all I needed was the confirmation, just to reassure me that I would not be deemed a child murderer.

Tsunade then lifted my shirt and squeezed some transparent gel onto my bump.

I winced at how cold it was and kept my head turned away from the screen, not wanting to see what Kankuro had done to my baby. "She's dead isn't she?" I asked, my voice a whisper. Tears were running down my face. Naruto wrapped his arms around me, sitting down on the chair he'd pulled up next to my bed. "It'll be okay." He soothed, gently stroking my hair.

Normally, that calmed me down, but today, I was so terrified that I couldn't even think straight.

Tsunade didn't say anything, running the scanner over the gel. After a few minutes of her moving it around my sides, I almost fainted in relief when I heard the vague sound of a heartbeat from the scanner. Quickly, I glanced up at the screen to my right, seeing my little girl inside me, moving very slightly. That didn't explain the pain I was experiencing though.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked.

Tsunade smiled a little. "It's nothing to worry about, I promise. When Kankuro fell on you, it seems that he did indeed crush your womb, but the damage isn't lasting – it's only bruised, and the impact dazed her a little, so that's why she wasn't moving. It you were suffering with a miscarriage, the pain would be at least ten times worse. It would feel like you were going into labour early, and at this stage of the pregnancy, your waters would have broken. You are six months gone, so if you did go into labour, Kaeda may have survived anyway. She would be weak and premature, but there is a chance of survival after five months of pregnancy."

I nodded as I listened to her, shaking from relief. My little girl needed me now. I couldn't kill myself, no way. "Thank you. I was just worried."

"That's understandable." She said with a smile. "You need to rest for a few days now, just until the pain goes away. Kaeda will get more active in a few hours, but if she stops moving all of a sudden or if the pain becomes worse, you need to come back and see me. Keep warm, drink plenty of fluids and eat properly."

"Thank you." I said again, laying my hand on my bump. Although I couldn't feel her, knowing she was alive was enough to make me smile slightly.

"Take care of yourself." She helped me off the bed and placed a hand on my shoulder.

Naruto put his arm around me and grinned. It seemed like he was just as relieved as I was.

I let him lead me away, waving Tsunade goodbye as I left the room with him. Everything seemed so much better now, but that didn't mean I was going to return home anytime soon.

3

"What's with the bag?" Naruto asked as we headed back to his apartment. Despite my protests, he'd insisted that I spend the rest of the day with him. In truth, I just wanted to be on my way; possibly to another city and far away from my family.

"I already told you, I was headed to my aunt's." I replied.

"Bullshit. You don't have an aunt."

I scowled at him. "And how do you know about my family tree all of a sudden?"

"Because I distinctly remember you telling me that the only family you have are the ones you live with."

I blinked at him. He was right; I certainly did recall saying that to him a couple of years ago.

"Are you going to keep lying to my face?" He asked.

"I just don't want you to worry."

He stopped walking, staring at me with a confused and hurt expression on his face. "Gaara, I love you, of course I'm going to worry! I didn't get a wink of sleep last night because I was so afraid that something would happen to you! I'm going to worry about you _all_ the time!"

I flinched. "I'm sorry. You deserve the truth."

"Mhmm…" He grunted. "So I'll ask again, what's with the bag?" He repeated.

"I've run away." I replied. "I can't take it anymore; Kaeda is in danger if I stay there."

He raised an eyebrow. "Come on, there's more to it than that. I know you more than you think I do."

There was nothing I could hide from him, I should've learnt that years ago. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "My dad hit me. He told me to get out of his sight."

"He _what_?!" Naruto snarled, gripping my shoulders tightly. "Your own father hit you?!"

Great. Now he was pissed off. There was no telling what he could do when he was pissed off. "B-believe me… it was only a slap across the face. He's never done it before."

"Stop sugar-coating it! A slap is still a form of abuse!" He snapped.

"So?! Parents _do _hit their kids sometimes!" I hissed.

"And who's to say he won't do it again, hm? Kankuro is already violent enough!"

"He won't!" I protested. "I'm not going back there again anyway!"

"So what?! I'm still going to kick his fucking ass!" He growled, and then began to hurry away.

"Wait!" I pulled on his arm hard in a futile attempt to get him to stop, but he was just too strong. "Naruto, stop! You'll fuck up everything even more!"

"I can't tolerate child abuse!" He snarled.

"Naruto!" I snapped. "I said no! If he finds me, I'll be grounded forever!"

He shook his arm from my grasp and ran back down the road.

I was tempted to go after him, but I was just too tired for starters, and the prospect of my father finding out where I was made me think twice. "Fine, do what you want! I'll just get out of this mess myself!" I hissed, watching him disappear round a corner. Stress was the last thing I needed now, after that miscarriage scare. If I wasn't careful, I truly could lose Kaeda. It was lucky she survived after Kankuro fell on me.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I took a deep breath to calm myself down and tried to put my mind on other things.

Right, all I needed to focus on now was finding somewhere to live. There was no way I could afford an apartment, even if I still had the three-hundred dollars I'd lent to my family. The cost of living was so ridiculously expensive now. My father was rich, and even he struggled to pay the bills sometimes.

I hadn't a penny on me right now, and I wouldn't go back to my house if my life depended on it. If I went back, my father would just insult me some more and probably never speak to me again. I couldn't take that, I knew it would be too much for me.

Naruto was rushing to my house unfortunately, so I walked in the opposite direction, heading to Konoha. Maybe the accommodation there would be cheaper. I could get a job to pay the rent, and on top of that, I'd get child benefits every week once Kaeda was born. We'd be fine, and we'd be closer to Lee's grave.

A hand on my shoulder jolted me from my thoughts. I flinched and stopped walking, glancing over my shoulder to see who had grabbed me.

A familiar blonde male stared down at me, his bright blue eyes filled with concern and guilt. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I just wasn't thinking clearly. When you told me he hit you, I just couldn't control my rage."

I sighed, placing my hand on his arm. "It's alright… Let's just go before someone finds me."

"Wait… where are you even going?" He asked with a hint of exasperation in his voice, not budging from the spot.

"I don't know, anywhere." I replied, stopping when he grabbed my wrist gently.

"Why don't you crash at mine for a couple of days, instead of just spending the rest of the day here?" He suggested.

I thought about it for a moment. "Does my dad know where you live?"

He shook his head.

"In that case, sure. Thank you." I said, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Will your Godfather mind?"

"No, of course not! He loves it when I have friends over."

"But I'm not _just_ a friend, am I?"

He blushed a little. "Yeah… well he won't mind that either."

I raised an invisible eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

"Gaara, have you _seen_ the novels he writes? Knowing him, he'd write something based on our relationship."

"Isn't that a little creepy?"

"You get used to it." He replied with a shrug, putting his arm around me as we walked to his apartment. I vaguely knew of Jiraiya's work, but I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't get Naruto into trouble if he caught us kissing or something.

"I won't be too much of a burden. I'll only stay for tonight, actually, and then I'm going to start looking for my own place."

"You can stay for as long as you need to" He told me sternly. "Or at least until you start feeling better."

I nodded, shoving my hands into my pockets. "Thank you again."

"It's nothing." He took his cell phone out of his pocket and proceeded to phone Jiraiya to come pick us up. Not even twenty minutes later, he was there. I got in the vehicle next to Naruto and before long; we were on the way to his place.

3

During the course of my friendship with Naruto, I'd never really been to his apartment. Sure, I'd called round for him before and stood at the door whilst Jiraiya told me he wasn't in, but I'd never actually been inside.

It was much bigger than I expected, I realized, as Naruto led me through the door. There was a double bed pushed up to the large, green-framed window. The bed had white sheets, and above it were two posters. One advertising Naruto's favourite restaurant, Ichiraku Ramen, and the other was a wall scroll with the Konoha symbol painted in red on it.

The window gave a nice view over the whole city and far beyond. I could just vaguely see the snowy mountaintops of Yuukigakure on the horizon, far past the huge forest. It really was beautiful here, far nicer than Suna. All you could see from my bedroom window was sand, sand, sand - sand as far as the eye could see. My house was right at the back of the city up against the border walls, and my bedroom was situated at the back of the house.

I glanced around the apartment, noticing how untidy it was compared to my place. Numerous empty ramen cups littered the floor, along with various manga books. Among the mess sat what looked like an old Playboy magazine.

Naruto caught my gaze and stepped in front of me, kicking the magazine under the worn couch that was pushed up against the back wall. I pretended not to notice the magazine.

"So…" He began nervously. "I'll show you around."

I nodded, letting him lead me through a doorway that was the kitchen. It was narrow, long and well lit, with a decent-sized refrigerator and polished sienna worktops. The floor, as with the rest of the house, was laminated, the wood a light shade of pine. This was probably the cleanest part of the apartment I'd seen so far, but I could soon change that if Naruto and Jiraiya gave me permission to clean. It was the least I could do for them to show my appreciation.

Next, he showed me to the bathroom opposite the kitchen. It was smaller than my own, but it still had a working shower, toilet and sink, so I wasn't really fussed. There was a lock on the door too, luckily. I didn't want either of them seeing me in the shower. It was bad enough if my own family walked in on me. Heck, if Lee was still alive, I wouldn't appreciate him doing that either.

As he led me out of the bathroom, I looked across the hall to see an unopened door, one I hadn't been in yet. "What's in there?" I asked, pointing over to it.

Naruto blinked and followed my gaze. "Oh, that's Jiraiya's study. I rarely see him. He's always working on his novels." He replied.

"Oh right."

He led me over to the couch. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

I nodded. "Sure, thank you."

"What'll you have?"

"Well, what have you _got_?" I countered with a smirk.

"Tea, coffee, Coke, lemonade, water, orange juice, Monster, lots of sake – but I can't imagine it's a good idea to drink sake whilst pregnant. Same goes for Monster."

"Hmm… I'll have Coke please." I told him.

He nodded and hurried into the kitchen, before poking his head round the door just seconds later. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." I replied, pushing myself off the couch to follow him.

Whilst the drinks were fizzing down, he opened various cupboards to show all the food he owned. I almost felt like facepalming when I saw the amount of ramen cups were in there. Did the whole household literally live off ramen? I took some bread out, the most natural edible thing in there, and headed over to the fridge, seeing nothing in there that I really liked. "Do you have any bacon chips?" I asked, grabbing the butter.

"Uh… should do." He replied, filling our glasses up again now the fizz was gone. "Check the cupboard next to the window."

I nodded, opening it and taking out said bacon chips. They were the best thing to put in a sandwich, alongside real bacon. God I loved bacon. "You want a sandwich too?" I asked.

"What are you having?" He asked.

"Bacon chip sandwich. It's really good."

He raised an eyebrow, before smirking and taking some bread out. "Sure, might as well try it."

"Would you like me to butter your bread?" I asked as he came over.

"W-what?"

"I said, would you like me to butter your-" It was then I noticed his expression, and my face heated up. "Sorry, oh shit, didn't mean it to sound like that."

He laughed and leaned closer to me. "Of course Gaara, I would love you to butter my bread."

"You'll be lucky." I said, managing to keep a giggle out of my voice.

Well, after buttering Naruto's bread and filling the sandwiches, we retreated to the living room, where he switched on the TV.

"Any good movies on?" I asked, before taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Not that I can see." He answered through a mouthful of his own. "Unless you want to watch that sappy romantic shit."

I shook my head. "What stuff do you have on DVD?"

"Take a look." He grunted, pointing over to a cardboard box next to the TV. The blonde was obviously more interested in eating his food right now.

After finishing my own lunch, I got up and began rummaging around in the box, looking for something that would catch my attention. It was then that a title stuck out to me. I picked the case out of the box and held it out to Naruto.

"The Avengers, hm?" He asked as he stared at the casing for a few moments. "Never knew you were a Marvel fan."

"Are you kidding me?" I scoffed. "Who doesn't love Marvel?"

He rubbed the back of his head and grinned. "Yeah, you're right. Sit down and I'll put it on."

I nodded, sitting on the couch and pulling my knees up to my chest.

After the curtains were drawn, and when Naruto returned to the couch, the movie started.

Throughout the whole thing, I found myself lounging on Naruto, cuddling him, or vice versa. Not that either of us minded; we both enjoyed the company. It had to be lonely for Naruto sometimes if Jiraiya stayed in his office all day, writing.

3

After the movie ended, and when the sun was making its slow descent into the horizon, I carefully pushed myself up out of Naruto's arms. He had fallen asleep about twenty minutes ago, and there was nothing on TV apart from game shows and documentaries on global warming. Neither of which caught my interest, really.

My mind drifted back to my family. Had they found my letter by now? Did they even care that I'd gone? Now that I'd decided to stay alive for Kaeda's sake, it would be strange if they bumped into me any time after today. I knew I couldn't stay with Naruto any longer than a week, because if my family really did care about me, his place would probably be the first place they'd look, and neither Jiraiya _nor_ Naruto could conceal me from them forever. I had to find my own place – far away from here. Yuukigakure, one of the neighbouring countries sounded like a good place, but so did Amegakure. Neither of them had the best weather, and I hated the cold and rain, but at least I'd never have to face my family again, excluding Temari. She had always been like a mother to me, and she'd done nothing wrong. For that, I felt bad for leaving her, but she had Shikamaru to keep her company and to cheer her up. I really did hope they'd get married.

A sudden, sharp jab to my abdomen made me gasp, and I smiled a little. Tsunade was right; Kaeda _was_ perfectly fine. I was more than relieved to feel her shifting around inside me after hours of stillness. "I knew you couldn't be defeated that easily." I said to her as she kicked at my hand. "You're a tough one, just like your daddy was."

"Who are you talking to?" Naruto asked sleepily, obviously having woken up.

I turned around. "Kaeda is moving again."

He grinned, placing his hand on the bump and rubbing it gently. "Sweet! See? Tsunade's always right! I told you she'd be able to help!"

"Yeah." I hugged him tight. "Thank you."

His arms wrapped protectively around me, and he pulled me into his lap to plant a loving kiss on my lips. It felt weird to kiss him, but I wasn't complaining. I moved my lips against his and placed my hands on his shoulders, before closing my eyes to relish the feeling.

We pulled away for breath after about a minute, and I lay my head on his shoulder. He was warm as usual and I felt all my tensions melting away as he rubbed a hand soothingly up and down my back.

"I'm hungry." He mumbled tiredly after a few minutes.

I hummed in response, already on the verge of sleep.

"What about you?"

I inhaled deeply as I came back to my senses, before pushing myself up and stretching. "I guess."

"Well, it is six you know."

"Is it?" We'd been snuggled up on the sofa for a good four hours then. I had to admit I felt much better now after such a long rest.

Naruto stood up first. "So, what do you want to eat?"

"Anything." I replied. "What do you have in?"

"Well, you saw my cupboards, so it's instant ramen I guess."

I nodded in agreement. If I had any money on me, I would have offered to treat us both to a takeout or something. "Instant ramen it is then."

He smiled brightly and went off into the kitchen to prepare it. "What flavour do you want?" He called from the kitchen just minutes later. "I've got chicken, chow mein, beef, bacon, sweet and sour, and mild curry."

Surely I'd had enough bacon today. "Chow mein please. Do you want any help?"

"No no, just rest alright?"

It was then that Jiraiya came through the door, his face flushed and his hair damp – oh, and harbouring a black eye. No doubt he'd been spying on the women in the hot springs again, and he'd been caught, _again_.

"Oi, Naruto!" The man called, dropping his bag onto the floor.

The blonde poked his head round the door, his expression turning into a scowl. "Don't tell me, you got banned from _another_ bathhouse?"

"Well… not exactly banned…" He began to explain, a sheepish look on his face.

"You're a dirty old man, ya know?" The blonde said sharply.

"Yeah, yeah, I got work to do after all this research. What are you doing in the kitchen anyway?"

"Cooking dinner for me and Gaara." He replied. "Why?"

"Let me guess, ramen?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, old man, we've got nothing else in the cupboards."

"And that's why…" He got out a wallet, or should I say, Naruto's froggie purse. "I want you to take him out to dinner!"

I blinked and stared at the white-haired man. "Oh no, you don't have to spend anything on me. You're already doing enough by letting me stay here."

He smirked, tossing the purse to Naruto. "Nonsense. You're the guest, you deserve much better than instant ramen for dinner. That won't satisfy you, especially in your condition."

I shot a glare to Naruto. "Alright idiot, who else have you told?"

Jiraiya cut in before Naruto could reply. "Only me, there's no need to worry."

"Hey, old man, this is _my_ money! I actually thought you were treating me!" The blonde snapped, completely changing the subject.

"I added twenty dollars in there, actually. Take Gaara out for some proper food. I'm perfectly fine with the ramen."

Naruto scowled again, leaving the kitchen. "Fine, but don't eat the beef flavour, alright? That's my favourite."

"Yeah yeah, get outta here and have some fun." He reached over and ruffled his hair.

"Thanks old man." He said with a smirk, before grabbing my arm. "Let's go!"

I smiled a little and nodded, before turning back to Jiraiya. "Thank you."

Naruto tugged at my hand impatiently, opening his front door. "Come on redhead, I'm starved!"

We both left the apartment and headed down to the city.

**AN:**** For those of you who don't know what "New Rock" boots are, here are some examples: . /78/1/new-rock-boots )**


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